tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-64481506717581692572024-03-13T11:56:29.049-05:00JuneBug TalkUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger52125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6448150671758169257.post-76502769949445706792011-02-17T08:31:00.008-06:002011-02-17T09:25:18.115-06:00On Being African-American....I was over at <a href="http://abagond.wordpress.com/2011/01/05/black-pathology/#comments">Abagond</a>, reading the comment thread, and I saw a comment that has always irked me during discussions of African-Americans and racism. Usually, I have been on the tail end of this comment during my conversations about African-Americans with my immigrant friends (and friends from immigrant families) - be they African, Asian, Caribbean, etc.<br /><br />The comment usually goes something like this: "Well, I don't understand why African-Americans complain about racism keeping them down because Africans and Chinese, etc. come over here all the time and make something of their lives. And they (we) come from a legacy of colonialism. I think African-Americans just use slavery to make excuses for bad decision-making."<br /><br />A version of that comment has been launched at me repeatedly during conversations with many of my African friends in particular. It's always like, "Look at Africa! We have a fucked up history too! But we manage to not let it hold us back like you African-Americans do!" Usually the comment pisses me off so much that I find myself incapable of squelching my anger in order to coherently respond to it.<br /><br />I was going to respond on the comment thread on the site, but someone beat me to it with an almost perfect response (pasted below). The only thing I would add is: "What makes anyone think that some brown and black immigrants here are not similarly suffering from the same limitations - psychological and economic limitations that stem from the legacy of the racism that manifested itself as colonialism in their home countries? Furthermore, for every African or Chinese, for instance, who comes here and succeeds there are probably a dozen more who end up like many of the black Americans who live perpetually in slums, pathologized and blamed for their near inability to rise from their underclass position. The successes of a few don't erase the suffering and continued oppression of millions." Anyway, what's your opinion on the topic?<br /><br /><p><b></b></p><blockquote><p style="color: rgb(255, 102, 102);"><b>“How is it that African, Caribbean, and Asian immigrants with their own painful colonial pasts (some experienced first hand) can come to this country and not similarly suffer from the same limitations?”</b></p> <p style="color: rgb(255, 204, 51);">A lot of it has to do with subtle differences in the oppressed minority group psychology. </p> <p style="color: rgb(255, 204, 51);"><b style="color: rgb(204, 102, 0);">Colonialism</b> has usually meant a minority of powerful Whites controlling (by threat of force) a majority of non-White native peoples.</p> <p style="color: rgb(255, 204, 51);"><b style="color: rgb(204, 102, 0);">Americanism</b> has been a MAJORITY of powerful Whites oppressing a much smaller minority of imported, non-White alien people, in a culture that is extremely hostile to them.</p> <p style="color: rgb(255, 204, 51);">The damage done by Americanism is different.</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p></blockquote>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6448150671758169257.post-46359668880230682622011-02-14T13:47:00.002-06:002011-02-14T13:50:32.260-06:00Happy Valentines, Single's Awareness, or Hallmark Day!<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:donotpromoteqf/> <w:lidthemeother>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:lidthemeasian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:lidthemecomplexscript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> <w:splitpgbreakandparamark/> <w:dontvertaligncellwithsp/> <w:dontbreakconstrainedforcedtables/> 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mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style=";font-family:";" ><span style=""> </span>What’s a woman to do when she finds that she is constantly the BFF and never the GF? Now, anyone who is reading this post knows that I don’t often write about dating and love. Why? Because, quite honestly, the shit confuses me and I feel no need to further confuse myself by constantly writing blogs about it.<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style=";font-family:";" >That being said, it has struck me lately that I am always the best friend and never the girlfriend, at least when it comes to my experiences with men. This has been the constant theme in my life since high school. I am always the little sister or big sister, depending on the relative size and/or age of the man. As a teenager, I watched movies like <i style="">When Harry Met Sally</i> and even <i style="">The Best Man</i> (don’t know why my mom let me watch that one). I sympathized with Jordan (Nia Long). Like Sally (Meg Ryan), I sometimes feared what sex would do to a perfectly good friendship. But as I grew older, I became less like Sally – to hell with fear, it’s a lonely world more often than not. I became more like Jordan, fearless but, like her, relegated to bestie position. Longing for some dude who has eyes only for someone else – whether<span style=""> </span>or not he’s met her yet – a dude who says, “I respect you too much to expose you to my bullshit,” who will never be anything other than my homeboy. Constantly cherished but not quite the way I’d like to be cherished.<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style=";font-family:";" >What’s a woman to do, I ask?<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style=";font-family:";" >My initial answer was to do the Kanye shrug and keep it moving, cultivate a good friendship with homeboy and keep my eye open for greener pastures. But…a sista’s legs can get mighty tired, mighty fast and her vision mighty blurred from the fatigue of looking.<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style=";font-family:";" >So, my answer now? Kanye shrug, cultivate a good friendship with homeboy, focus on self. It’s not a satisfying answer, but it will have to do, right?</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style=";font-family:";" >So, I say to all of the singles – male or female – during this valentine’s week, send some chocolates to your besties and your fam. Know that if you are the BFF and never the GF (or BF, guys), you are not alone. In fact, there are many of us out there, I imagine. So, go pick up a box of chocolates and get at it. Be your own valentine, 365 every year.<span style=""> </span></span></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6448150671758169257.post-76958167010874867602011-01-27T05:00:00.013-06:002011-01-27T05:00:09.446-06:00Whip My Hair Pt II : I Whip My Hair... why you ask??? BECAUSE I PAID FOR IT!I was so inspired by Ms MaShari's past blog on JBT " Whip My Hair" about letting go of the "creamy crack" I decided to take it a step further and talk about another aspect of hair.... THE WEAVE!!!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/__3pYHjX-LDc/TT93AROtiBI/AAAAAAAAAC4/_1baGR4A9kw/s1600/Bad%2Bweave.htm"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 138px; height: 200px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/__3pYHjX-LDc/TT93AROtiBI/AAAAAAAAAC4/_1baGR4A9kw/s200/Bad%2Bweave.htm" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5566298510962034706" border="0" /></a>ok... so the example I placed right there is DEFINITELY a great example of how your hair should NEVER LOOK!!!.. Seriously of you look like Hottie here..... I dont really know.... but anyways, back to the subject at hand. ( before I get ahead of myself)<br /><br />I, Mz Kewe, ( as some of you may already know) loves wearing weaves... AND I WILL SAY IT PROUDLY!!!!<br /><br /> Before I get all Chris Rock about this subject ( which... by the way is a good movie to watch if you all havent yet) I wanted give my point of view. Honestly, I love it! and I don't see anything wrong with adding a few extensions to your head from time to time. Actually, the weave opens doors for more benefits in my opinion<br /><br />1. No Need for the Perm ( Creamy Crack)<br />Alot of women, mostly black, run out of options and are trying to break away from this harmful chemical! So unless you can go natural or put that good old hot comb to use ( which isn't healthy either) your pretty much stuck. The weave opens a less harmful way of styling your hair and not having to worry about as much damage on your hair<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/__3pYHjX-LDc/TUEmmaiU0DI/AAAAAAAAADY/X-pJd-luuaE/s1600/bad%2Bhair%2Bdat.htm"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 142px; height: 200px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/__3pYHjX-LDc/TUEmmaiU0DI/AAAAAAAAADY/X-pJd-luuaE/s200/bad%2Bhair%2Bdat.htm" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5566773055806820402" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br />2. VARIETY BABY<br />Cmon! you have to admit the various styles, lengths, texture, colors, etc, etc!! such an opportunity for creativity! I myself love to keep my styles "consistency inconsistent" ( devil on my left side) below are a few pictures of myself and a few of my styles<br /><br />I can wear it short<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/__3pYHjX-LDc/TUEof-uxeRI/AAAAAAAAADg/irXeG-rJtAE/s1600/short%2Band%2Bcurly.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 150px; height: 200px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/__3pYHjX-LDc/TUEof-uxeRI/AAAAAAAAADg/irXeG-rJtAE/s200/short%2Band%2Bcurly.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5566775144286877970" border="0" /></a><br /><br />long<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/__3pYHjX-LDc/TUEo1oc1-cI/AAAAAAAAADo/cGq4WYh-aHU/s1600/long%2B2.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 134px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/__3pYHjX-LDc/TUEo1oc1-cI/AAAAAAAAADo/cGq4WYh-aHU/s200/long%2B2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5566775516263217602" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Blond<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/__3pYHjX-LDc/TUEqGBZdkLI/AAAAAAAAAD4/OHiFEZLGAT8/s1600/blond.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 134px; height: 200px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/__3pYHjX-LDc/TUEqGBZdkLI/AAAAAAAAAD4/OHiFEZLGAT8/s200/blond.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5566776897349456050" border="0" /></a><br /><br />just to name a few!! and you know what the GLORY of all this variety is??? I can do all this without changing, damaging or altering my REAL HAIR!<br /><br />THE MYTHS BEHIND THE WEAVES<br /><br />The biggest misconception surrounding weaves are that Black women are the ONLY women that wear them... well that couldnt be anymore UNTRUE<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/__3pYHjX-LDc/TUEsFtZuvrI/AAAAAAAAAEA/97pqhWLdLTU/s1600/Brittany%2BSpears.htm"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 172px; height: 200px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/__3pYHjX-LDc/TUEsFtZuvrI/AAAAAAAAAEA/97pqhWLdLTU/s200/Brittany%2BSpears.htm" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5566779091005128370" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Grasp!! is that Brittany Spears???<br /><br />In Fact, Jessica Simpson, Paris Hilton and Kim from Real Housewives of ATL have all admitted to weaving weaves/wigs of some sort AND having their own hair line!<br /><br />GONE GIRL!<br /><br />2. Women who wear weaves do not have hair of their own<br />another myth that is completely untrue...if we didn't have our own hair... how are we even able to sew or glue the weave in??? And, on the contrary, weaves have been rumored to actually helping the growth process of the hair, according to some women who wear them... including myself<br /><br />My real hair after taking one of my styles out<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/__3pYHjX-LDc/TUEujC1VbVI/AAAAAAAAAEI/g_BT1zAPTP4/s1600/real%2Bhair.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/__3pYHjX-LDc/TUEujC1VbVI/AAAAAAAAAEI/g_BT1zAPTP4/s200/real%2Bhair.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5566781793997516114" border="0" /></a><br /><br />The weave gets alot of flack and a bad named attached to it.. when the truth is, so many women of all ethnic groups wear it or have worn in at some time in their lives<br /><br />so with all this being said<br /><br />WHAT IS SO WRONG WITH THE WEAVE?Mz.Kewehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14633545720032121915noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6448150671758169257.post-23864575468767069572011-01-20T07:00:00.002-06:002011-01-20T07:00:00.463-06:00British College Students Protest Tuition Hike in the U.K. – So What are American Students Waiting For?<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://ukzambians.co.uk/culture/?p=3925"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 266px; height: 400px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_2SmVxl8EnWQ/TS6tTWfBPYI/AAAAAAAAADI/f0OByGF9u6c/s400/tuition-fees.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5561573137813945730" border="0" /></a><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> 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unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Book Title"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="37" name="Bibliography"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" qformat="true" name="TOC Heading"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]-->When I was in high school – junior high, even – I dreamed about college. I dreamed about being able to attend on a scholarship and make a life for myself that most of my family never thought possible for themselves. I spent years perusing college books and catalogs, essentially shopping for the perfect university in the perfect location. Sadly, no one ever advised me to spend as much time looking for a scholarship. Sadly, no one ever quite impressed upon me just how expensive college is, and just how much money I would have to somehow produce out of thin air to be able to attend the college of my dreams. Yeah, there were a few full scholarships available to some of the brightest. Brightest equaled and still equals "Bright and brilliant test takers." Tough luck for the "Bright but sucky test takers." I fell into the latter category: excellent student (in advanced courses, straight A’s) but average test taker. <p class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style=""> </span>So, like many students of my generation, I got stuck with some student loans for undergrad. I didn’t end up at the school of my dreams (Brandeis) because I couldn’t afford it, although I got in. I ended up at a tiny private liberal arts in the middle of the Ozarks, and when I look back on it, it was absolutely the best college experience a student could hope for. A top notch education that left me with manageable student loan debt. My loans from undergrad don’t compare to what I’ve heard from others.</p><p class="MsoNoSpacing">Then, I managed to get into grad school on a fellowship, no money out of my pocket. And, while in grad school, I realized that this is how school should be. Free. That’s right. If they can do it in Germany and elsewhere, we can do it here. <span style="font-weight: bold;">Free, state-funded higher education</span>. <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 255, 102);">After all, the right to an education should not be denied to anyone. But when we make education unobtainable (and undesirable, even) by virtue of being unaffordable, we deprive people of that right.</span><br /></p><p class="MsoNoSpacing">When the British government announced that it would hike tuition to 9,000 pounds ($14,000) a year, triple what it had been (something around 3,000 pounds), <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/11/24/british-students-protest-_n_787994.html">students took to the streets and parliament</a>. They protested. That’s right. Students actually said, “Holy shit, it’s gonna cost me a kidney just to get an education. That ain’t right.” And they rallied together.<br /></p><p class="MsoNoSpacing">Some Americans might view the reactions of the British students with amusement. “$14,000?” we might scoff and laugh, “I’m paying 30 f-ing thousand a year! What a bunch of wimps!” But guess what? We are the wimps. We are the wimps for letting our government, the parasitic banks that profit from our student loan debt, and the equally parasitic universities that profit from their relationship with the banks from which we take our loans…we are the wimps for letting these institutions screw us and cripple us with debt that some of us will never be able to repay. See, the British students’ reaction stem from the fact that they, like those in several European countries, are accustomed to paying very little (very little compared to us, anyway) and, in some places, nothing for a higher education.</p><p class="MsoNoSpacing">In Germany, for instance, colleges (although they are not colleges in the sense that we understand them) are mostly free – while some students have to pay around 500 Euros ($650) per semester in administrative and tuition fees. In Britain, tuition generally ran about 3,000 pounds a year ($6,000) in contrast. Still cheaper than the U.S – hell, most students here would be lucky to pay $6,000 <i style="">a semester</i> at a 4-year university, public or private (unless you pay in-state tuition). My undergrad, a private school, was always around $8,000 per semester and that was in the early and mid-2000s. Nonresident undergrad tuition at the University of Iowa, for instance, is currently $11,000 per semester. I won’t even mention how much my law school tuition is – hint, it’s ungodly.<br /></p><p class="MsoNoSpacing">Because I think every human being has a right to an education, I think it is unacceptable to let our government, banks, and universities continue to infringe upon that right by making education unaffordable, by every year jacking up the tuition. I have been more fortunate than some others, able to get scholarships and fellowships throughout all of my education. But I am no less infuriated about the loans that I racked up in undergrad and that I'm now piling up for my living expenses. I am no less infuriated about the lonas and debt that my classmates have racked up and continue to rack up. Nothing can justify forcing students into lifelong debt for the sake of an education, something which we all need to survive and to grow in this ever-changing world. A serious and enduring student protest against such injustice and greed is long overdue. British students are protesting and fighting this outrageousness. So, what are American students waiting for?</p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6448150671758169257.post-61550848502645322072011-01-17T06:00:00.003-06:002011-01-17T06:00:01.183-06:00Call for Submissions! Become a Junebug!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_liPBDfTxIHs/TS6chXbryFI/AAAAAAAAAFM/SkzKk980-E4/s1600/Call_for_Submissions_2011.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_liPBDfTxIHs/TS6chXbryFI/AAAAAAAAAFM/SkzKk980-E4/s400/Call_for_Submissions_2011.jpg" border="0" width="400" height="86" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">As you know, one of our fellow bugs is no longer with us. Do your thang, Ms. Mashari! We are wishing you the best of luck.<br /><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"> </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">However, surely ya'll know what this means. We have a vacancy! We are currently looking for a dedicated and lively new Bug, male or female, who has plenty to say about any and everything under the sun. Since we write about everything, we are open to all types of writers and all types of topics. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">If you are interested, submit the following to <b><a href="mailto:bugme.junebugtalk@gmail.com">bugme.junebugtalk@gmail.com</a></b> <b style="color: yellow;">no later than February 10, 2011</b><span style="color:yellow;">:</span></div><ul style="font-family:inherit;"><li><span style="font-size:0pt;"><span style="font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-size-adjust: none;"></span></span>An article (any topic, any length; if you wish to include pictures, be sure to attach them)</li><li><span style="font-size:0pt;"><span style="font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-size-adjust: none;"></span></span>A possible screen name</li><li><span style="font-size:0pt;"><span style="font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-size-adjust: none;"></span></span>Topics you would be interested in writing about </li><li><span style="font-size:0pt;"><span style="font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-size-adjust: none;"></span></span>Brief bio (a few sentences that capture who you are)</li></ul><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">Ultimately, we will choose several articles from the submissions. A different article, of those chosen, will be posted each day during the last full week of February. <b style="color: lime;">On Monday, February 28<sup>th</sup>, we will announce our new regular Bug</b>. Runners-up will be invited to become regular Guestbugs.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">We look forward to your submissions, because we know ya’ll have loads to say!</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6448150671758169257.post-20574676384369882752011-01-13T06:00:00.008-06:002011-01-14T04:38:47.784-06:00Farewell<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">After some soul searching, Ms MaShari has decided to depart JuneBug Talk. Here, she discusses what prompted her decision and her future plans.</span></i><br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_1nXnyZoVDx8/TO5pFu7b_WI/AAAAAAAAABg/oLhmDPJaYLk/s1600/departure.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_1nXnyZoVDx8/TO5pFu7b_WI/AAAAAAAAABg/oLhmDPJaYLk/s1600/departure.jpg" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's been six incredible months and a wonderful journey with the ladies of <a href="http://junebugtalking.blogspot.com/">JuneBug Talk</a> thus far. Never in a million years would I have imagined working with such a fantabulous group of young women; Miss Berneta the "Intellectual," attorney in the making, and aspiring activist, Mz. Kewe the "Queen of All Controversy" and next big radio or TV personality, and Miss Qui Vive, one of my best friends, the "Mastermind" and creator of JuneBug Talk, and a future best-selling author. When Miss Qui approached me with the notion of developing a blog, I was somewhat hesitant. But </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm so grateful to have had a chance to share </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">something so very important to me </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">with the world - </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">personal finance lessons</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">. Creating the blog with Miss Berneta, Mz Kewe, and Miss Qui has definitely been an eye-opening experience. In addition to lucubrating from my JuneBug counterparts, I've had the opportunity to learn from some of our GuestBugs and our readers, and I've grown so much as a writer as well.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Choosing to leave was definitely a difficult decision, but I know that it's the right one for me and the group collectively at this time. I'm currently working and attending school full-time, and I anticipate my courseload will significantly increase over the next year; therefore, I no longer have the time necessary to act as technical coordinator and contributor to this project. While I will miss working alongside the JuneBugs, collaborating with our GuestBugs, and reading your comments, I am also very eager to embark on the next phase of my life. It's bittersweet. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The ladies have some wonderful plans in store for 2011, and I assure you it's not something you wanna miss. You never know, yours truly might even make a few guest appearances so stay tuned. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Without further ado, I'd especially like to thank our readers for making JuneBug Talk the success it is, and I hope you all continue reading as JuneBug transitions and evolves. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">n the words of J. Cole, "I bid you farewell" until later that is.</span><br />
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</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><object height="385" width="500"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/VzkbhMvYp2k?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/VzkbhMvYp2k?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="500" height="385"></embed></object></div><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Download the entire <i>Friday Night Lights </i>mixtape <a href="http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fbit.ly%2Fjcolefnl&h=61f14">here</a> for FREE.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Read Ms MaShari's previous work right here at JBT:</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://junebugtalking.blogspot.com/2010/11/go-distance.html">Go the Distance</a></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://junebugtalking.blogspot.com/2010/10/whip-my-hair.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Whip My Hair</span></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://junebugtalking.blogspot.com/2010/11/advice-single-woman-with-needs.html">Single Woman with Needs</a></span></div><div style="text-align: -webkit-auto;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://junebugtalking.blogspot.com/2010/09/men-vs-women-who-really-has-advantage.html">MEN vs. WOMEN: Who Really Has the Advantage in Dating?</a></span></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://junebugtalking.blogspot.com/2010/09/power.html">Power</a></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://junebugtalking.blogspot.com/2010/08/unthinkable-im-ready.html">Unthinkable (I'm Ready)</a></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://junebugtalking.blogspot.com/2010/07/president-obama-and-cool-black-man.html">President Obama and the “Cool Black Man” Persona</a></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://junebugtalking.blogspot.com/2010/07/thank-me-later.html">Thank Me Later</a></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://junebugtalking.blogspot.com/2010/05/it-aint-trickin-if-you-got-it.html">It Ain't Trickin' If You Got It</a></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Catch up with Ms MaShari as she chronicles the next chapter of her life at <a href="http://herstorynthemaking.blogspot.com/">HERstoryNtheMaking.blogspot.com</a>.</span></div>Ms MaSharihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11494679320196778015noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6448150671758169257.post-149323845020975402011-01-10T21:11:00.012-06:002011-01-11T10:01:56.098-06:00"Watercolors"<span style="font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-size:85%;">GuestBug: <em><strong>Tiffany</strong></em></span><br /><br />As women we must be careful of the indelible stains we allow to be placed on our souls. Stains left on the soul, plague the woman. The vision she has for herself is stained beyond recognition. If she is not careful, her spiritual wellness could be in danger of attracting the terrible ills of, hopelessness, complacency, fear and inadequacy. <img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5560767438201469954" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 179px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 217px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_QINkTFQZxio/TSvQhdiOvAI/AAAAAAAAAD8/-E9mdMGm_i4/s320/Stain.jpg" border="0" /><br /></span><div><div><span style="font-family:georgia;">In order to progress, it is best to have a spirit and soul that has overdosed on love, faith and courage. Instead of ugly stains, beautiful and uncontained watercolors should color her soul. Women should become versed in the practice of not only indulging our individual gifts; but seeking aggressively the parts of ourselves that keep us centered. We are mothers, daughters, best friends, sistahs, wifey’s, co-workers, students, and many other stabilizing forces to so many. These roles are constantly being juggled by our minds, wrapped up with our hearts, and carried on our backs, and the burden leaves a stain on our souls. The constant struggle exists within us in the maintenance of these roles.</span></div><br /><div><span style="font-family:georgia;">Then there comes the day, when the realization comes that, in being so much to others, or maybe not focusing on the soul inside the woman, we are lost, colors drained. The abysmal search for self worth and purpose, leads to unavoidable and painful questions such as “Where the hell did I loose me?" “Why did I make that choice?" “How do I cleanse me of these stains?" or “Is it too late to make me proud of me?"</span></div><span style="font-family:georgia;"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5560767956956535522" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 214px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_QINkTFQZxio/TSvQ_qDE2uI/AAAAAAAAAEE/8Y6dyySrSF8/s320/Questions.jpg" border="0" /><br /></span><div><span style="font-family:georgia;">Oh, we can handle the mistakes and detours. We cannot, however, wrap our minds around making the same mistakes. Strength that naturally finds roots from our souls is wounded, and has settled like stains. Stains left from abusive lovers, single motherhood, unappreciated and unmatched love, and self doubt. We learn to survive, and adapt to pain and heartbreak inflicted by others.</span></div><br /><div><span style="font-family:georgia;">However, the one we must learn to love is the woman inside. Her soul needs to be tended. Her soul’s color restored. We must engage her in debate; challenge her to reach beyond what she believes are her limitations. When we love the soul inside the women, stains become eradicable. A woman’s soul should have beautiful hues of lavender, gold, and green, vibrant and beautiful watercolors; various shades represent different emotions, struggles, lessons, and memories. Stains are soiled or discolored appearances. Watercolors are pigments suspended in water. Yes, a woman’s soul must have the likeness of watercolors. Where the appearance and the lesson are learned, but the heart, mind and soul are free. There is resilience in the souls, minds and hearts of women. </span></div><br /><div><span style="font-family:georgia;"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5560765663122787218" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 366px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_QINkTFQZxio/TSvO6I2fi5I/AAAAAAAAAD0/-T0Zatl58K8/s400/WatercolorWoman.jpg" border="0" /></span></div></div><br /><p><span style="font-family:georgia;"></span></p><p align="center"><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">Want to be a GuestBug? Email us at </span><a href="mailto:bugme.junebugtalking@gmail.com"><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">bugme.junebugtalking@gmail.com</span></a></p><p align="center"></p>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6448150671758169257.post-53994320146991345242011-01-05T11:11:00.015-06:002011-01-06T06:34:06.153-06:00"No Reservations"<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_nF-BnG55DY4/TSSqyStLqjI/AAAAAAAAAD4/guxLuf5_T1E/s1600/Happy%2B2011.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5558755621073562162" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_nF-BnG55DY4/TSSqyStLqjI/AAAAAAAAAD4/guxLuf5_T1E/s320/Happy%2B2011.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">Welcome Back, JuneBuggers!<br /><br />I know it has been a while since we've interacted with each other, but goodness, it's good to be back home! Happy 2011!<br /><br />I tinkered around with some ideas of what to write for the new year and have been coming up short on grand ideas and essays, so I decided to keep it short and simple.<br /><br />A few weeks ago, I was watching the unique show, "No Reservations," where famed chef, Anthony Bourdain, travels the world trying exotic, unusual, and even shocking foods. How do raw, bloody eyeballs sounds as an afternoon treat? I know, I know...probably incomplete<br /><br />unless they are spread across a seal carcass.<br /><br />Yes, Bourdain has tried it...but WHY??<br /><br />As unappetizing as some of these foods may be to some, Bourdain's lack of reservations allows him to better understand and acquire an appreciation for the world around him because having a wider scope allows him to open his mind - and...LIVE.<br /><br />So, for 2011, I encourage you to live life with NO RESERVATIONS (but, of course, a bit of common sense) and take in all life has to offer!<br /><br /><br /></span><span style="font-family:georgia;"></span><div align="center"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:georgia;">"The biggest adventure you can ever take is to live the life of your dreams." - <em>Oprah Winfrey</em></span></span></div><div align="center"><em><span style="font-size:85%;"></span></em><br /> </div><div align="left"><em><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">P.S., JuneBuggers...In case you are having a hard time getting started LIVING - check out some of my inspirations for the New Year:</span></em></div><br /><em><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:georgia;">Purchase and Read "The Twelve Universal Laws of Success," by Herbert Harris </span><a href="http://pyramidbooks.org/brochure.nxg"><span style="font-family:georgia;">http://pyramidbooks.org/brochure.nxg</span></a></span></em><br /><p><em><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:georgia;">Join </span><a href="http://www.happyblackwoman.com/"><span style="font-family:georgia;">http://www.happyblackwoman.com/</span></a><span style="font-family:georgia;"> 's 31-Days to Reset Your Life Challenge: </span><a href="http://happyblackwoman.com/join-the-31-days-to-reset-your-life-challenge-january-2011/"><span style="font-family:georgia;">http://happyblackwoman.com/join-the-31-days-to-reset-your-life-challenge-january-2011/</span></a><span style="font-family:georgia;">#</span></span></em></p><p><em><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:georgia;">Check out Tim Ferriss' "Four Hour Work Week" </span><a href="http://www.fourhourworkweek.com/"><span style="font-family:georgia;">http://www.fourhourworkweek.com/</span></a><span style="font-family:georgia;"> to learn how to </span></span></em><em><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:georgia;">work less, and enjoy life more!</span></span></em></p><em><span style="font-size:85%;"></span></em><p align="center"><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">Contact Ms Qui Vive at: </span><a href="mailto:msquivive@gmail.com"><span style="font-family:georgia;">msquivive@gmail.com</span></a></p><br /><br /><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-family:georgia;"><br /></span></div><br /><br /><br /><div align="center"></div>Ms Quihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15700088094136561568noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6448150671758169257.post-49482662606315837252010-11-25T06:00:00.013-06:002010-11-25T06:00:09.189-06:00Don't Be Absurd, Go Ahead and Eat that Bird!Okay, so the ladies at JuneBug Talk can't take credit for that catchy title. It is solely the creation of one of Miss Berneta's friends. But, at any rate, we wish you the best for the holidays. Use this holiday to celebrate our nation's indigenous people, to honor the history of their struggle. Use this holiday to celebrate family, friends, self. <br />
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Whether you are enjoying a large meal with your family or your friends, or enjoying a cozy little meal by yourself...have a great holiday! Most importantly, don't be absurd! Go ahead and eat that bird! For the vegetarians out there...the holidays offer one lesson: nothing, absolutely nothing, is better than good ole dressing. Stay safe!<br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6448150671758169257.post-39742565743209054812010-11-18T06:00:00.006-06:002010-11-18T07:08:51.082-06:00Played Out Like an 8-Track: The Mythology of the Down Low<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.slate.com/id/2147491/"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 474px; height: 369px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_2SmVxl8EnWQ/TOF2d20NGJI/AAAAAAAAAC8/TAAdaFCVZRM/s400/060808_HW_downlowEX.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5539839271945181330" border="0" /></a>So, the media’s obsession with the single (and, apparently, miserable) successful black woman? Played out, right? Well, guess what? The media’s obsession with down low black men, likewise, is played. Played out like an 8-track. On one hand, all the successful black women are single and miserable–some of them just attitudinal ball-busters that don’t know their place–and, meanwhile, all the successful black men are on the down low and giving HIV to their wives or girlfriends. Stop the madness, I say! These mythologies, while based in some truth, need to be retired. And, no, I don’t mean locked away in a closet (pun intended), I mean burned to ash. They are not doing any of us any good. <p>But since <a href="http://nickelforathought.wordpress.com/2010/04/20/our-national-obsession-with-the-successful-single-black-woman/">I’ve already written about the media’s obsession with single successful black women</a>, I have no intention of writing about it again. Right now, I need to let loose about the down low mythology that the media seems to have a real jones for at the moment.</p> <p>From <a href="http://www.chicagonow.com/blogs/ndigo-girls-and-toys/2010/10/oprah-guest-jl-king-tells-5-things-women-must-know-about-the-down-low.html">Oprah</a>, to <a href="http://blackgaygossip.com/index.php/2010/06/22/video-sherri-shepherd-d-l-hughley-vilify-black-gay-men-on-the-view/">D.L. Hughley and Sherri Shepherd</a>, everyone seems to be harping on about the specter of the disease-carrying, heartbreaker of scorned straight black women: the down low black man. The black man who is ostensibly “straight,” who dates, has sex with or is married to a woman but who also secretly has sex with men. On a class level, he’s often a successful black man, an ideal black man: great career, seemingly has his act together, seemingly responsible, etc. The DL Dude breaks the hearts of women and further breaks their bodies by infecting them with HIV, so goes the rhetoric.</p> <p>There are multiple problems with this rhetoric:</p> <p>1. It displays a refusal to acknowledge the existence of bisexuality as a legitimate sexual identity</p> <p>2. It fallaciously assumes that all closeted black men are dating women</p> <p>3. It implies that non-heterosexual men, gay or bisexual, are abnormally promiscuous</p> <p>4. It implies that non-heterosexual men, gay or bisexual, are disease carriers by nature and are responsible for the HIV epidemic in black American communities</p> <p>First, our country is preoccupied with dualisms and either/or ideas. A person is either gay or straight. Black or white. We constantly demonstrate our narrow-mindedness and fixation on dualisms every time we say Obama isn’t acting black enough or, as the Tea Partiers seem to think, that because he’s “black” (rather than biracial) he only cares about black people. Likewise, we constantly demonstrate our preoccupation with dualisms every time we treat bisexuality like it’s a phase, every time we make movies or TV shows (*cough* <em>The L Word</em>) that erase or vilify or pathologize bisexuality. Personally, I have met very few “straight” people who say they have only been attracted to the opposite sex and very few “gay” people who say they have only been attracted to the same sex. <em>Many people just seem to be attracted to people, <strong>but only act on their attractions with certain people</strong> (be those certain people of the same sex or opposite sex or both)</em>. However, everyone is free to pick their label: straight is no less legitimate than gay. But “bisexual” is less legitimate…apparently.</p> <p>Tyler Perry’s <em>For Colored Gi</em><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://nickelforathought.files.wordpress.com/2010/11/forcoloredgirls.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 374px; height: 285px;" src="http://nickelforathought.files.wordpress.com/2010/11/forcoloredgirls.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><em>rls </em>made that evident (<strong style="color: rgb(255, 102, 102);">*spoiler alert*</strong>) as Jo (Janet Jackson) confronts her husband, Carl (Omari Hardwick), about his sexuality. She has seen him checking out men, on the street, in theater halls, when they are out together. Jo asks him, “Are you gay?” In response, we see the pain on Carl’s face as he seems to be trying to figure out <em>what </em>he is. To society, he’s gay, and ergo, he’s not a man. He seems to plead with himself as he says that he’s a man and he repeats that, just before he finishes with, “a man who likes having sex with other men.” I may be an atypical theater-goer, but I genuinely felt this man’s grief as he tried to answer his wife’s question. I don’t know if I was supposed to feel that or not. Some viewers would say that I wasn’t supposed to empathize with him, that Carl was a <a href="http://www.advocate.com/Arts_and_Entertainment/Commentary/Tyler_Perrys_Down_Low_Hysteria/">typical unsympathetic villainous down low character</a>. Indeed, in some ways he is unsympathetic and outright villainous, and in some ways not. The actor certainly brought a real sort of humanity to the character. But this doesn’t take away from the fact that I was disturbed by the “Are you gay” question.</p> <p>Don’t get me wrong: it is a legitimate question to ask in a situation like the one between Jo and Carl. But why is “are you gay?” the first question that comes to mind when we find out a person, especially a man, is engaged in same-sex relations? Because we are programmed to believe that a man who has sex with men is a gay man, period. He couldn’t be anything else. There’s no turning back to women when a man let’s another man “bend him over,” as Jo said. Furthermore, when she received no real answer from him, why didn’t she follow up with, “Are you bisexual?” I don’t remember her asking that question (someone who’s seen the film, correct me if I missed that). The absence of this question or the mention of bisexuality effectively erases bisexuality as a legitimate identity in this scene. He is either gay or straight. And he’d better just pick one, rather than go around hurting people. That one little phrase would have added an amazing amount of depth to this scene, to her character and his character because the truth is simple: a man who has sex with men but who also dates and has sex with women might just be bisexual. In other words, he might just be attracted to men and women, perhaps to differing degrees. But the problem is that our culture doesn’t allow men (not even women, really) to express attraction to both men and women. Often time, if a woman finds out a man has been with men or is attracted to men, she doesn’t want anything to do with him as far as dating. And when men find out another man has been with men or is attracted to men, they often immediately label him as gay, whether or not the man has labeled himself that way. Indeed, many men who are attracted to both men and women, feeling pressured to choose either gay or straight, choose one so as to have some sort of identity that is at least acknowledged. I know I was probably bringing too many of my own ideas to the film, but I felt that Carl was going through this very dilemma during the film and especially during this moment.</p> <p>Secondly, not all down low men are dating women. Some of them just remain single. There’s a thought.</p> <p>Thirdly, just like Carl in the film, gay and bisexual men (via the down low mythology) are deemed abnormally promiscuous. They sex men anywhere and anytime, whenever they can get it. For instance, in the beginning we see Carl sitting in his car under a bridge, receiving oral sex from another man. We see him and some other dude checking each other out in the theater, while Carl is sitting next to his wife. We see him sneaking in late, obviously having procured some anonymous or random booty from some dude, and slipping under the covers next to his wife. The down low stereotype differs little from general stereotypes we have of gay men (think <em>Queer as Folk</em> and Ricky from <em>Noah’s Arc</em>) as being perpetually sexed by some random dude and/or constantly sexing some random dude. Clearly, as the rhetoric goes, gay men unlike straight men can’t have monogamous relationships. (I’m sure all the straight women are laughing at the irony of that one, as they tick off the number of trifling straight men they’ve encountered.) This stereotype becomes even more exaggerated when the guy is labeled as bisexual (even bisexual women have to deal with the whore stereotype), and it becomes outright vicious when the guy is labeled as a down low man.</p> <p>This brings me to the fourth point: <strong><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 102);">the viciousness of the down low “whore man” stereotype often receives its articulation through moralistic sermonizing about HIV and AIDS</span></strong>. Homophobia has become so ridiculous in black communities that <a href="http://www.theloop21.com/news/cdc-brothers-the-down-low-not-blame-for-high-hiv-infection-rates-among-black-women">we’ve decided to dupe ourselves (or let the media dupe us) into believing that the HIV/AIDs epidemic affecting us is due to the presence of down low brothers</a>. <em>It couldn’t possibly be due to lack of education, poverty and lack of access to good health care, and plain old poor personal choices.</em> Nope. The down low brother is a disease, literally, according to the stereotype. Carl, of <em>For Colored Girls</em>, represents the stereotype of the down low man in its entirety: promiscuous, unfaithful, HIV carrier, a veritable killer of black women.</p> <p>When is this madness going to stop, I ask myself? We have a real deadly epidemic on our hands, and rather than face its root causes upfront so that we can find a workable solution, we’ve (or at least the media) decided to blame it on down low black men. Yes, some black women have contracted HIV from brothers on the down low. But research (and general common sense) has time and again shown that women are contracting the disease from men who are <strong style="color: rgb(255, 102, 102);">not</strong> on the down low (or from men who at least report that they have not had relations with other men). Women are contracting the disease from straight black men. Like real straight black men. You dig? Women are contracting it from drug use and from drug users. Etc. It’s hard to believe that in such a life or death situation, as the current HIV crisis has presented us with, that we’d rather accept a lie than the truth.</p> <p>I find it even more disgusting that all the people who are storming off about this film, as if it’s the worst thing ever created—marring the reputation of black men, mangling Shange’s beautiful work, and whatever other excuse people find—that few have included any discussions of this obvious problem in the film. Perry’s own mysterious sexuality makes the portrayal even more disconcerting. I hesitate to say that he seemed to be channeling some of his own anxieties and frustrations in the disclosure scene between Carl and Jo, as the camera remains close up on Carl, who looks like he’s on the verge of tears as he talks. But rather than discuss this, many of the bloggers, male and female, seem to feel more comfortable writing Perry off as a self-hating black man and/or a self-hating homo. Either way, their silence on this issue implies, on some level, that they saw no problem with this stereotypical portrayal. In other words, they seem to have a problem with Carl being gay/bisexual (“dang, the black man can’t never get a break! First, he’s a rapist and a gangbanger, now a homo?!) rather than with him being written as a disgusting stereotype of homosexuality or bisexuality: as a disease-carrying, promiscuous, heartbreaker down low black man. As I’ve written before, I love the film. I’ve hated all Tyler Perry productions before this film, but I admit that he gained some of my respect with this film. That does not prevent me from calling the film out on its problematic—perhaps plain homophobic/biphobic—portrayal of Carl’s character. Like Oprah and others, Perry played a broken record with Carl’s character. And let’s just put it this way, that record was wack from day one. </p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6448150671758169257.post-35551220132264526342010-11-16T08:27:00.005-06:002010-11-16T08:37:12.124-06:00Benefits & Responsibilty Go Together<span style="font-family:georgia;">By GuestBug: Dr. Terry Dorsett</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">To read more inspiring blogs, visit Dr. Terry at: </span><br /><br /><a href="http://thoughtsfromdrt.blogspot.com/2010/10/benefits-and-responsibility-go-together.html"><span style="font-family:georgia;">http://thoughtsfromdrt.blogspot.com/2010/10/benefits-and-responsibility-go-together.html</span></a><br /><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">I was chatting with a young man the other day. He wanted some money and was hoping that he could get some help from the state, from his relatives and from the church. He was a perfectly able bodied young man, quite capable of earning a living in a variety of ways. But he was not a morning person, so he did not want to have to get up early. He did not care for physical labor, so he did not want a job that required sweating. He had a whole list of reasons why he did not want to work at any jobs that were currently available in the area. After listening to him awhile, I politely declined his request for assistance.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">We live in a world in which everyone wants all the benefits of a free modern prosperous society, but no one wants the responsibilities that go with it. Each spouse wants a happy marriage, but the both expect the other spouse to do most of the work. Parents want good kids, but expect the teacher at school to produce them. Everyone wants to have lots of money in their pocket, but they do not want to have to work too many hours to produce it. People want to have health care, but they do not want to pay for it. We have become a society that expects a lot but lacks the desire to put forth the effort to make those benefits happen.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">This same sense of entitlement spills over into the church. People want a church that will meet all their needs, but they expect someone else to teach the Sunday School classes, watch the nursery, print the bulletin, clean the bathrooms, preach the sermons, give the money, lead the music, prepare the refreshments and lead all the weekday programs. But that is simply an unrealistic expectation. There is no such thing as benefits without responsibility.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5540155918361427778" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 172px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_QINkTFQZxio/TOKWdGo1_0I/AAAAAAAAADo/YWgOCQyr4ZQ/s320/Responsibility.jpg" border="0" /><br /></span><span style="font-family:georgia;">As a society, we need to rediscover the value of working hard to achieve our goals. We need to stop expecting someone else to do all the hard work while we reap the rewards. This is not a new concept. The Apostle Paul talked about this in 2 Thessalonians 2:10, “If a man will not work, he shall not eat” and in Galatians 6:5, “for each one should carry his own load.” It may be an age old concept, but a new generation needs to learn it or our society may endure much longer. </span>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6448150671758169257.post-46549394727158784842010-11-13T21:29:00.011-06:002010-11-14T08:59:22.619-06:00"Downtime is Halftime"<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_QINkTFQZxio/TN9as7iir-I/AAAAAAAAADY/5qLwUVYV_lo/s1600/Towel.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5539245794632314850" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 300px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 299px" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_QINkTFQZxio/TN9as7iir-I/AAAAAAAAADY/5qLwUVYV_lo/s320/Towel.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><div><br /><div><br /><div><br /></div><br /><div>This is for everyone who has thought about it… quitting, giving up, throwing in the towel, running away, jumping off a bridge, crying, suicide …anything that would stop you from walking into your destiny. Anything that would stop you from finding and living your life with great purpose. I beg you to keep going. Don’t quit. I know it’s hard for you and I know it’s not easy to keep going. I love my family a great deal, but having been married twice with kids in both directions and it can get emotionally, very difficult. On one side the mom has this agenda; on the other side the mom has another agenda. …And I am dad in the middle wanting so very badly to be with his children. But for financial reasons, I must work long hours in order to “pay” (you get it?). </div><br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><div>By the time I made a “true” decision, everything at that point was so fractured, I found myself wanting to quit on everything and everybody. I wanted to get my life back on track, but felt overwhelmed at where to begin. But then something wonderful happened! Right as I contemplated running away to Utah (I know of all places [shaking my head]), God began to speak to me. He asked me, so what are you going to do when you get to Utah. God said, “I could let you leave all this behind, run away and act as if none of this ever existed, but to what end? Is this really who you are?” I began to cry, looked down and asked… “But what am I to do Lord? I feel like my actions have destroyed everything that I hold dear. How do you I make it “right”? God answered and said, “This is not a time of pity, nor is it the time to hang your head. I know that you are tired, and I am beginning to sense your hunger for more. To be loved, to love, to rear your children, to have that career, to make amends with those you have hurt or offended, to be closer to Me… to truly begin to live your life with a purpose, My purpose!” </div><br /><br /><br /><div align="center"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5539244876095766866" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 152px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 200px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_QINkTFQZxio/TN9Z3duXQVI/AAAAAAAAADQ/vP2C3qS6pgA/s200/Purpose.jpg" border="0" /><br /></div><br /><br /><div align="right"></div><br /><br /><div>The last thing God said was, “Son you are down, but not in the way you think you are. This is merely downtime to get it right, not to sulk and throw a pity party.” So I begin to think downtime… downtime. Aha! Downtime! Like half time of a game. Picture being a player for a basketball or football team. Its halftime (aka downtime) and you’re losing big time! You feel like there is no way you’re gonna win (self-pity). You wanna take off your jersey and throw it in the trash (running away, quitting, and giving up). In your mind you don’t even want to play anymore (suicide). But then the coach (God) starts to speak to your mind and heart. He says don’t quit, don’t give up, don’t run away, don’t throw in the towel. DON’T DON’T DON’T! </div><br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><div>This is your time to be rejuvenated, not to start over but to start fresh. Whatever you are dealing with, it will still be there until you have dealt with it. It is time to look at your mess from a new perspective, with a new pair of “eyes”. I know… It’s overwhelming! You think to yourself where do I begin? I urge you; the first part of the mess that needs to be cleaned is you. Give yourself a look in the mirror. That is the answer. Whatever issues you need to overcome, whatever problems you face. Whatever you don’t have going in your life. It all starts with one. You… Remember, downtime is halftime. You can still win if you believe! 1 Peter 5:10 (amp) says, after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace [Who imparts all blessing and favor], Who has called you to His eternal glory in Christ Jesus, will Himself complete and make you what you ought to be…And from me… I just want you to win. (Hugging you tight) Love you (ya’ll)… See you next Sunday!<br /></div><br /><br /><br /><div></div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5539243357493757746" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 226px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_QINkTFQZxio/TN9YfEfbhzI/AAAAAAAAAC4/-xThNUrT0Vg/s320/Defeated.jpg" border="0" /><br /><br /><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">~justJames~ </span></div></div></div>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6448150671758169257.post-59086759670565995702010-11-11T07:00:00.007-06:002010-12-08T13:54:05.579-06:00Go the Distance<div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">So it's a popular saying, right? It's not just that. See, I grew up in a neighborhood in Little Rock, Ark. where some people fell by the wayside while others aspired to be better and followed their dreams to become greatness. I'm astonished by the talent and at just how many people I know who have followed their hearts and made going the distance their way of life; actors, counselors, barbers and stylists, comedians, nurses, models, attorneys, promoters, writers, graphic designers, and the list goes on and on. For <a href="http://www.rahhoward.com/">Rah</a>, it's being an artist, which I truly admire as an avid music lover, sometimes shower vocalist (LOL), and occasional songwriter. Just a few weeks ago when I heard his track "<a href="http://www.rahhoward.com/">Go the Distance</a>" featuring his brother and my former classmate Ricky, I fell in love with the lyrics so much so they inspired me to write this blog. So press play and go the distance with me in today's lesson [bell rings]. Once again, class is in session!</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I recently read a book by <a href="http://www.facebook.com/EllaLJBell?ref=ts">Ella L.J. Edmondson Bell</a>, which fit perfectly with today's title, called <i><a href="http://www.blogger.com/www.careergpsthebook.com">Career GPS: Strategies for Women Navigating the New Corporate Landscape</a></i>. For all the fellas who are reading, please continue 'cause there is something to be learned for everyone no matter your sex or your career plans. Have you ever struggled with discovering your inner talent or been stifled not knowing what you should be doing with your life? Well, think of <a href="http://www.facebook.com/EllaLJBell?ref=ts">Ella</a> as a coach guiding you onto the right path and into the right direction.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Before starting your journey, you should learn and understand yourself. <a href="http://www.facebook.com/EllaLJBell?ref=ts">Ella</a> says, "It's best to know yourself before you get in the game, but understand self-awareness grows" over time. To get an idea of who you are and how the world sees you, ask some of your co-workers, friends, and relatives what their perception is of you along with examples to support their arguments. Compare their honest assessments with your own and who you'd like to be, and make adjustments accordingly. Don't stop there; keep it moving. Think about the things you enjoy and what you're most passionate about whether it's styling hair, customizing whips, or drawing cartoon animations, and determine how you can capitalize on that.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.facebook.com/EllaLJBell?ref=ts">Ella</a> also suggests you embrace every part of yourself including the good, the bad, and the ugly. During the course of my own analysis, I realized I had the habit of defeating myself with negative thoughts before I got started because I could never see the end of the road. There was always some obstacle, some roadblock in the way like not knowing where to start in the first place, or needing and wanting to finish school, or wondering where the heck the tuition money would come from. The thing is, the journey never really ends, and that's not a bad thing. If you really want what you want and want it with all of your being, you can go the distance. But keep in mind, going the distance means giving it ERRthing you've got and laying it all out there on the line. It means zooming past everyone who ever told you that you can't and never looking back. What you'll find is that once you've gone the distance, you'll keep moving further and further by evolving as an individual and fulfilling dreams you never knew you had. Then it's on to the next one. Start your journey today by saying this affirmation, "I CAN and WILL go the distance."</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Lesson #5 for young strivers is:</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Know yourself, find your passion, and go all the way - the distance!</span></span></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">"What you want to do, and can do, is limited only by what you dream." ~ Mike Melville</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><object height="385" width="500"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/--q81yLJJcQ?fs=1&hl=en_US"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/--q81yLJJcQ?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="500" height="385"></embed></object></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;">_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Learn more about <a href="http://www.rahhoward.com/">Rah</a> and order his album <i>The Winner</i> at <a href="http://www.rahhoward.com/">http://wWw.RahHoWard.cOm/</a>.</span></div>Ms MaSharihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11494679320196778015noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6448150671758169257.post-27022009672497219822010-11-09T08:24:00.000-06:002010-11-09T14:27:08.466-06:00"Daddy By Default" - Book Interview with Pat Tucker<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><style>
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</style><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_liPBDfTxIHs/TNiolcv8BrI/AAAAAAAAAE8/sDwMzLTgj1c/s1600/Daddy-by-Default1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_liPBDfTxIHs/TNiolcv8BrI/AAAAAAAAAE8/sDwMzLTgj1c/s1600/Daddy-by-Default1.jpg" /></a><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Not too long ago, one of our GuestBugs, Brilliance shared a relevant topic with us about the importance of fathers in the lives of their children and the detriment that occur when there is an absence of the father. If you missed it then, feel free to read it now: </span><a href="http://junebugtalking.blogspot.com/2010/09/best-father-around.html"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">http://junebugtalking.blogspot.com/2010/09/best-father-around.html</span></a><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">The subject of absent fathers is not new and unfortunately, a common occurrence than it should be, but, what is not quite as talked about, but just as significant (and disturbing) is <span style="color: red;"><b>PATERNITY FRAUD</b></span>.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Even if you have never heard of paternity fraud, the name says it all - one parent falsely accusing another of paternity.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">In an effort to enlighten others on the subject of paternity fraud, Author Pat Tucker has released her long-awaited novel, "Daddy By Default" which explores the destruction a case of paternity fraud causes in the life of an innocent man and his wife, a 'working-the-system' mom, and blameless child. </span><br />
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<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><i>JuneBug Talk recently had the opportunity to interview the author, Pat Tucker, on this emotionally gripping, Zane-presented, novel and this is what she had to say about the facts behind her story:</i></span></div></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"></span></div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
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<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; font-size: large;"><b>Daddy by Default</b></span> </div> <stroke joinstyle="miter"></stroke><formulas><f eqn="if lineDrawn pixelLineWidth 0"></f><f eqn="sum @0 1 0"></f><f eqn="sum 0 0 @1"></f><f eqn="prod @2 1 2"></f><f eqn="prod @3 21600 pixelWidth"></f><f eqn="prod @3 21600 pixelHeight"></f><f eqn="sum @0 0 1"></f><f eqn="prod @6 1 2"></f><f eqn="prod @7 21600 pixelWidth"></f><f eqn="sum @8 21600 0"></f><f eqn="prod @7 21600 pixelHeight"></f><f eqn="sum @10 21600 0"></f></formulas><path gradientshapeok="t" o:connecttype="rect" o:extrusionok="f"></path><lock aspectratio="t" v:ext="edit"></lock><shape alt="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51sInKHpdnL._SL500_AA300_.jpg" id="Picture_x0020_2" o:allowoverlap="f" o:spid="_x0000_s1026" style="height: 216.75pt; margin-left: 0px; margin-top: 82.55pt; position: absolute; visibility: visible; width: 132.75pt; z-index: 1;" type="#_x0000_t75"><imagedata o:title="51sInKHpdnL" src="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CWHITET%7E1%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_image001.jpg"></imagedata><wrap anchory="line" type="square"></wrap></shape><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"></span> <br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Unsuspecting men may discover the hard way that missing a deadline can be costly in more ways than one. Author Pat Tucker has created a tale about Paternity Fraud and why every man needs to know his state’s laws regarding the topic. Daddy by Default is about a defiant man who is stuck paying child support even after DNA determines he’s not the child’s biological father. Not possible you say? DNA has freed men from death row, led to the release of innocent men from prisons; quite surely it can be used to free a man from the financial obligations of a child he did not father correct? The answer to that question relies heavily on which state said father resides. </span><br />
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<span style="color: blue;"><b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><i>JuneBug Talk</i>: First of all, for those who haven't read your book, what is Daddy by Default about?</span></b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><i><b>Pat Tucker</b></i>: Daddy by Default is heart-wrenching story about a married couple whose relationship is shaken to its core by a false arrest. Parker and Roxanne Redman have been trying to start a family for years, following another miscarriage; Parker is arrested for delinquent child support. Only he hasn’t fathered any children. The story tackles the often emotional and tumultuous drama involved with family law cases. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">The story also highlights the importance of knowing the Paternity laws in one’s state, as they vary state to state. Currently there are 21 states in which DNA testing will not relieve a man of child support payments even if he’s not the father of the child in question. In those states and others, missing a deadline could leave a man financially responsible for a child until the child is 18. </span><br />
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<span style="color: blue;"><b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><i>JuneBug Talk</i>: Why should we go out and get a copy?</span></b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b><i>Pat Tucker</i></b>: This story is a glimpse of reality for so many men in the world today. Everyone who loves a man knows a man, or cares about a man needs to read Parker’s story because it can happen to anyone.</span><br />
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<span style="color: blue;"><b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><i>JuneBug Talk</i>: Who do you think would enjoy the book the most and why?</span></b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b><i>Pat Tucker</i></b>: Daddy by Default is steeped full of dramatic events, vivid scenes, and witty dialogue. This novel will appeal to avid readers and those searching for an authentic story of unrelenting determination and triumph. </span><br />
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<span style="color: blue;"><b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><i>JuneBug Talk</i>: What inspired you to write Daddy by Default?</span></b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><i><b>Pat Tucker</b></i>: As in most of the stories I pen, real life news stories inspired me to write this story. As a Journalist, I often come across stories that I find unbelievable and they stay with me. The plot for Daddy by Default was one such story. Once I began to research real life cases involving the growing problem of Paternity Fraud, I felt this was an issue that deserved more attention. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="color: blue;"><strong><em>June Bug Talk:</em> What do you think our legal system (i.e. child support system) could do better to resolve the problem of paternity fraud?</strong></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Pat Tucker: The legal system needs to catch up with the advances in technology. Let's face it, 20 or even 10 years ago, we didn't anticipate DNA would be used in the ways it has today... lawmakers should try to keep up with technology and allow cases that challenge outdated laws to stand as a model for change.</span><br />
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><strong><em>June Bug Talk:</em> Culturally or socially, rather than legally, what do you think we could do to deter women from committing or seeking to commit paternity fraud?</strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><strong><em>Pat Tucker:</em></strong> We can make it easier for the truth to come out, that way women won't be tempted, whether by accident or on purpose. There will always be cases where mistakes are made, but helping young women to better respect/love themselves will go a long way toward offering up more options. I know there are malicious people out there, but for the most part, I don't think anyone sets out to intentionally mislead others. (maybe that's just me being naive) </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"> </span><span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><strong><em>JuneBug Talk:</em> Since many black folks grow up without their fathers, why should we be discussing paternity fraud rather than paternal abandonment? What makes this issue as pressing or more pressing than paternal abandonment at the moment?</strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><strong><em>Pat Tucker: </em></strong>Statistics indicate paternity fraud is on the rise... that means there are tons of men out there paying for children that aren't theirs. Let's give credit where credit is due. Are there other problems? Sure, but I don't think it's a matter of picking one over another, I think it's about raising awareness and educating our young people about the choices they make. National figures indicate the majority of men who owe money for child support are poor men, under employed men or unemployed men, but with statistics also indicating a large number of those men may not be said child's biological father it tells me we need to start at home. We need to start with moms and dads (where present) talking to our young people before careless choices are made. Let me get off my soap box, but I will say that it's up to us to turn things around in our own community and we start one child at a time.</span><br />
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<span style="color: blue;"><strong><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><i>JuneBug Talk:</i> In writing this book, what would you like your readers to take from it?</span></strong></span> <br />
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<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><strong><em>Pat Tucker:</em></strong> I wanted to raise awareness about a problem I think many don't know about. When I tell people that DNA technology has freed innocent men from Death Row, but that same technology won't free men from child support payments in some states, many think it's just my crazy imagination going wild again... but the facts are there, we need to work together to raise the level of awareness and let people know that they all need to know what the paternity laws are in their respective states. That's what I hope readers will take from Daddy by Default.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: blue;"><b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><i>JuneBug Talk</i>: What are you working on next?</span></b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><i><b>Pat Tucker</b></i>: My next novel titled, <b>Football Widows</b> is a story about some NFL Coaches wives and their naughty behavior during the season, while their husbands are focusing on the game. In addition, I'm working on an independent film project. So soon, you’ll see me on the red carpet. And as always, I’m working on my next novel.</span><br />
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<div align="center"><span style="background-color: yellow; color: blue; font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; font-size: x-large;"><b><i>Daddy By Default</i></b></span></div><div align="center"><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="background-color: yellow; color: blue; font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; font-size: x-large;">Available Everywhere Books Are Sold: </span></div></div><div align="center"><span style="background-color: yellow; color: blue; font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; font-size: x-large;">November 9, 2010</span></div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center"><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><strong>About the Author:</strong></span></div></div><div align="center"><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">By day, Pat Tucker Wilson works as a radio news director in Houston, TX. By night, she is a talented writer with a knack for telling page-turning stories. A former television news reporter, she draws on her background to craft stories readers will love. With more than fifteen years of media experience, the award-winning broadcast journalist has worked as a reporter for ABC, NBC and Fox affiliate TV stations and radio stations in California and Texas. She also co-hosts the literary talk show, “From Cover to Cover.”</span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">Known as one of the fastest writers in the country, Pat has wowed editors with her ability to turn out five to ten thousand words a day. But it's not just quantity that has Pat at the top of her game. The quality of her stories is what keeps the readers coming back. A much sought-after ghostwriter, Pat gets her greatest joy in creating her own stories. She is the author of six novels and has participated in three anthologies, including New York Times Bestselling Author Zane’s Caramel Flava. Email Pat at Sylkkep@yahoo.com </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">A graduate of San Jose State University, Pat is a member of the National and Houston Association of Black Journalists and Sigma Gamma Rho Sorority, Inc. She is married with two children. She also co-hosts the literary talk show “From Cover to Cover.” Facebook-Pat Tucker, Fan Page-Author Pat Tucker Readers-Facebook-Sylkkep PL Wilson-Myspace-Author PL Wilson-Myspace-Author Pat Tucker-Twitter_authorpattucker www.fromcovertocovershow.com</span><br />
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</span></div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6448150671758169257.post-13350458835957870892010-11-08T06:48:00.012-06:002010-11-09T14:27:42.385-06:00"Ordinary Brown Braided Woman": A Comment on For Colored Girls<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_2SmVxl8EnWQ/TNfyQF-_HOI/AAAAAAAAAC0/LnQwuwa-eEw/s1600/for_colored_girls1.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 486px; height: 337px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_2SmVxl8EnWQ/TNfyQF-_HOI/AAAAAAAAAC0/LnQwuwa-eEw/s400/for_colored_girls1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5537160625173503202" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><strong><em>“I had convinced myself colored girls had no right to sorrow and I lived and loved that way and kept sorrow on the curb, allegedly for you, but I know I did it for myself, I couldn’t stand it, I couldn’t stand being sorry and colored at the same time, it’s so redundant in this modern world. </em>– </strong>Lady in Orange, recited by Loretta Devine</div> <p>This is a film about the “ordinary, brown braided woman,” as recited amazingly by Gilda (Phylicia Rashad), invoking the Lady in Red (for those familiar with the book). It’s a film for and about women who don’t need any more apologies, who feel Jo (Janet Jackson) when she says, “I got sorry greetin me at my front door.” It's a film for anyone who has any interest and investment in the lives of ordinary, black women.<br /></p> <p><span style="color: rgb(153, 255, 153); font-weight: bold;">Tyler Perry, for the first time in his film career, has produced a work that begs the viewer to understand, relate to, and examine the lives of black women: our relationships with each other, with our mothers and sisters, with men. All of his other films purported to do this, but </span><em style="color: rgb(153, 255, 153); font-weight: bold;">For Colored Girls</em><span style="color: rgb(153, 255, 153); font-weight: bold;"> is the first one that achieves this goal.</span> Quite honestly the negative criticism from viewers astonishes me. And there's a LOT of it, much of which I read prior to seeing the film. After seeing the film, I can only assume that someone totally without connection to or empathy for black women could hate this film; or else someone who (perhaps understandably) simply can’t look past all of Perry’s previous debacles in order to see the gem that we have in his adaptation of Ntozake Shange's <em>For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow is Enuf. </em></p> <p>First off, all of the actresses were excellent and seemed to be fully invested in bringing their characters to life. The only weak links were Kerry Washington (Kelly) and Whoopi Goldberg (Alice), although the latter had some moments that were useful in helping illuminate the idiosyncrasies of other central characters. Kerry Washington, admittedly, wasn’t featured heavily in the film. But, nonetheless, her character evoked little sympathy from me. Perhaps it stems from my general issue with Kerry Washington as an actress: she's generally just kind of whiny in most roles. Whoopi’s character seemed underdeveloped and flat, but I think maybe she did as good as she could with the character.</p> <p>The standouts? Kimberly Elise (Crystal), Thandie Newton (Tangie), Loretta Devine (Juanita), Anika Noni Rose (Yasmine), and Phylicia Rashad (Gilda). Sure, I just essentially named the whole cast. Quick summary of each character, respectively: utterly heartbreaking, deliciously complicated, hilarious fool in love, unfortunately innocent, and lovingly matriarchal.</p> <p>Probably largely because of the strength of these actresses, Tyler Perry’s adaptation stands on its own, so much that I did not find myself comparing the film with the stories in Shange’s book. But he definitely stayed true to some of the stories and for that I applaud the man. On the level of writing, all was well done. The back alley abortion made me pause because, with the plethora of Planned Parenthood Clinics, I found it excessively stupid for one of the characters to seek out a back alley person to perform her abortion. However, I believe we were supposed to see this character as excessively naive, for even another character called her stupid when she found out about the back alley abortion. Additionally, the pace of the film picked up drastically and almost uncomfortably right after a pivotal moment between Crystal and Beau Willie (Michael Ealy), and the monologues suddenly started to come one after another, back to back. For a moment I was uncomfortable with the sudden rush, but that moment of discomfort went as quickly as it came because the women did such amazing jobs with their monologues.</p> <p>The adaptation stands on its own also because Perry did a good job of adding some characters, significantly altering some, and creating nuances that separate the film from the original text. There’s the down low brother that one of the characters has to deal with, plus the cop played by Hill Harper. In addition, Gilda, a character I don't remember from the book, definitely adds a certain amount of cohesion that is necessary to hold the story together in film format. As far as nuances, I was struck by the subtle change in Yasmine's clothing style after she has her traumatic experience. After all his previous heavy-handed, overwrought films, I thought Perry would never grasp the importance of subtlety and nuance. Color me surprised.<br /></p> <p>While <a href="http://www.theroot.com/views/wheres-colored-girls-men#comments">some male commentators</a> have criticized the film, calling it <a href="http://www.shadowandact.com/?p=33117">black male-bashing</a> because of its harsh portrayals of the male characters (indeed, during the staging of the play in the 70s, many male members of the audience walked out on several occasions), I think that any black man who sees this play and feels that Perry has personally affronted his black manhood needs to take a step back and realize that the film, like the book, is not about black manhood. <span style="color: rgb(153, 255, 153);">Stop centering black masculinity in the discussion of a film that is primarily fixated on black women.</span><br /></p><p>It's about black womanhood, which albeit necessarily invokes a discussion of black manhood. But, first and foremost, a black man misses the message(s) of the film if, during the entire film, he is focused on the men rather than the women. The monologue by the Lady in Orange, recited by Loretta Devine, encapsulates the central message of this film and of the book: we, black women, in our culture are perceived by others (and by ourselves often) as not entitled to sorrow, to emotional vulnerability, to weakness even. We are supposed to be strong and take all the shit handed to us, without complaint, without anger. Because, as my grandmother once said, there's no place for a weak, sad black woman in this world. Well, this film is about confronting and reversing that belief, in the minds of others and, most importantly, in the minds of black women. This film is not about pitying black women (as some commentators have alleged, associating its portrayals with <em>Precious</em>, etc.). <strong style="color: rgb(153, 255, 153);">It's about showing that black women can feel genuine sorrow and grief and pain and anger, and that that doesn't have to make us pathetic or angry bitches or whiny women looking for pity. It just makes us human.</strong></p> <p>Secondly, such male commentators fail to take into account the depth of the portrayal of the male characters in this film. Only one man, the rapist, struck me as irredeemably evil in this film. All the other males were clearly individuals with deep-seated issues that the film tried to highlight subtly. For instance, during the table scene between Crystal and Beau Willie, I think we are supposed to understand that Crystal feels sorry for him, that on some level we should feel sorry for him; this does not change the fact that we are supposed to want her to leave him because we know that he is poison to her and her family. People are complicated. In the world we live in, people who hurt us and do evil things often have complicated reasons for doing them, whether we know those reasons or not. While it’s important to safeguard ourselves from such people and take steps to empty our lives of such harmful people, in doing so we should always remember that such people are still human beings (even if such people seem to have forgotten their own humanity or the humanity of others). I think we are supposed to experience the same feeling during the last conversation between Jo and her husband, while not letting that sympathy excuse his behavior.<br /></p><p>Needless to say, Jo and especially Crystal are also held accountable for the destruction that they allow these men to bring to their lives. Perry makes sure to reiterate the importance of all parties taking responsibility for the damage done.<br /></p> <p>So, I don’t think this film bashes black men. As a matter of fact, as I read some of this criticism of Perry's film, I was reminded of the type of one-sided, defensive criticism that <em>The Color Purple </em>(book and film) received from male commentators back in the 80s. According to my aunt, many black male commentators also talked crap about <span style="font-style: italic;">Waiting to Exhale </span>back in the day, and that movie in no way bashed black men; there were numerous positive black male characters in that film. As such, I say these commentators need to cut out the petulant whining just because there's a Oscar buzzing film that centers black women.<br /></p> <p>For all the other commentators (everyone other than the black male commentators) who delivered negative criticism of the film, I don’t know what to say. Anyone who watches this film should know they are in for some gritty material. No one who knows anything about the book or who has watched the trailers should go into this film expecting a pretty story with a neat little ending. But that is what we’ve come to expect from Tyler Perry (pretty stories with neat little endings), so I understand why some critics went in with such expectations and left disappointed. But, alas, <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 204, 204);">I’m proud to say that this is not </span><em><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 204, 204);">just another Tyler Perry film. </span></em><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 204, 204);">This is a different kind of Tyler Perry film. Yeah, there's still the Tyler Perry melodrama that can be found in all of his films. But this is one that begs its audience to think a little deeper, to be a little more patient, to listen and question. To think about the "ordinary brown braided woman," embodied by each of the characters. </span>For once, Tyler Perry has produced a good film, a damn good one at that. And I'm pretty sure I never thought I'd use "Tyler Perry...film" and "damn good" in the same sentence.</p> <p>Final sidenote: Thandie Newton was all kinds of crazy sexy in this film, and I’ve never found the woman attractive before. I’d watch it again, just for her.</p><p><br /></p><p><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">For all of those who haven't seen the film, GO SEE IT! And for those who have seen the film, what are your thoughts?</span><br /></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6448150671758169257.post-80393974877471487462010-11-05T06:00:00.025-05:002010-11-09T14:27:08.470-06:00Advice: Single Woman with Needs<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/> <w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> <w:Word11KerningPairs/> <w:CachedColBalance/> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="color: #93c47d; font-family: inherit; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i><span>I was thinking: I'm a single woman and I have needs. I have a single long time friend (guy) who has needs. Should we have a sexual relationship with no strings?</span></i><span></span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="color: #93c47d; font-family: inherit; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="color: #93c47d; font-family: inherit; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i><span>- Anonymous</span></i></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="color: #e69138; font-family: inherit; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b style="color: #e69138;"><u>Mz. Kewe</u></b></span> <span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">If only in a perfect world we could have sex and risk not getting our feelings involved... but we are human, not dogs or cats or dolphins! Some people actually HAVE the ability to do that... however. But with him being your friend and you being a woman... the chance that you will get your feelings involved are pretty high, in my opinion. You could be biting off more than you can chew. The good news is... if He is truly your friend, then it’s also a possibility that you may NOT lose the friendship if being Friends with Benefits doesn't work out. I have been in the situation where a friend of mine decided to take it a step further and my feelings got hurt... eventually, we both got over it and went back to being friends, but the I could have lived without the intermediary drama. Another friend of mine had the same scenario, and she kept her friendship with the guy as well... I'm not sure if we have lucky stories or whatnot. I've heard some stories about these scenarios and the friendship was never the same. But, honestly, if I just want to have sex with someone... I don't want to deal with ANY drama what so ever, so even though I kept my friend... we went through drama that put our friendship in jeopardy AND ultimately... ended our Benefits factor... so it really wasn't worth it for me. If your looking to fulfill your needs... <b style="color: #38761d;">look for someone with whom you don't have a prior friendship</b><span style="color: #38761d;">. </span></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b style="color: #e69138;"><u>Ms. Qui Vive</u></b></span> <span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">I will keep my 'devil on the shoulder' opinion to myself...NOT! If you are young, single, and use protection, <b style="color: #38761d;">I say go for what you know</b>. If you can keep your feelings in check and expect nothing more than to 'meet your needs...' you might have a win-win situation. Just always expect, in the end, what you expected, from the start. </span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><u style="color: #e69138;"><b>Miss Berneta</b></u></span> <span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">Absolutely not! In my experience, the "no strings attached" sex with a friend scenario never ends well. Why? Because if it goes on long enough <b><span style="color: #38761d;">strings inevitably get attached</span></b>. In fact, it's hard not to get emotionally-attached to and all "caught up" with someone who is both 1) a long-term friend, and 2) someone you're having sex with on the regular. If you don't think you and this person will ever have a future as a couple (like, not ever, no possibility), you should not sleep with him. It'll likely lead to some hurt feelings, even if you guys do approach it from a "we're just friends who have sex" standpoint. And it could ruin a possibly good, healthy, long-term friendship. Besides, in my experience, empty sex (I consider loveless, convenient sex to be empty sex) is almost worse than no sex. Mz. Kewe is dead right: at the very least, find someone with whom you have no prior connection. But, personally, I probably wouldn’t do it, no matter the person.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span><u style="color: #e69138;"><b>Ms. Mashari</b></u> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span>I would say it's a decision that's entirely up to you and based upon your own comfort level. If you know what you want and communicated that with your potential partner, I don't see a problem with having a sexual relationship with that person. Before acting, I would encourage you to assess if you're both capable of having a no-strings attachment or if it could evolve into something more. In addition, I would say to talk it out in the event your feelings change, which can happen from time to time.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
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</style> <![endif]--> </div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">Having had some experiences similar to what Mz Kewe and Miss Berneta have mentioned,<span style="color: #38761d;"> </span><span style="color: #38761d; font-family: inherit;">I can't say I'm in the place where this would work for me, but keep in mind we're all so very different</span><span style="font-family: inherit;">.</span> While some of my relationships ended up awry, others were a learning and growth opportunity for me to set boundaries, communicate my desires, or even explore intimacy. I wouldn't change a thing about my past either. Here and now, I want more out of a relationship than I did back then when sex would simply suffice; I'm more interested in sharing a connection that is mentally, emotionally, and physically stimulating simultaneously. You may or may not be in the same place (and guess what, that's okay), <b style="color: #38761d;"><span style="color: #38761d;">so I suggest you do what suits you, be confident in your decision, and </span><u style="color: #6aa84f;">accept</u></b><b><span style="color: #38761d;"> whatever comes of it</span></b> (i.e. continued or broken friendship, a long-term romantic relationships, heartbreak, sex education and exploration, babies and baby daddy drama and child support madness, STDs, etc.) </span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
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</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6448150671758169257.post-80153903019471732922010-10-25T20:50:00.010-05:002010-10-28T08:39:27.719-05:00Back to the Future - "The Solution"<div><div><br /><div><span style="font-size:85%;">By: Ms Qui Vive</span></div><br /><div align="left">I can hardly believe as the part of the Gemini-half of 1/4th of JuneBug Talk, I finished a task to total completion...just as I can hardly believe the "Back to the Future" series is coming to a close!</div><br /><div align="left">We began dialoguging about slavery in America and how it has negatively affected ALL races - African Americans in particular. We learned, though there are many sub-consequences of slavery in America, the actual problem is 'mentacide.' We see that 'mentacide,' has created distortments, lack of acceptance, and confusion in the identity of the African American race as a whole and within individuals. We have discussed a lot of things...but what good is discussing a problem without presenting a solution??</div><br /><br /><div><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_nF-BnG55DY4/TMZG1GvCptI/AAAAAAAAADE/wjhIHoWF3Xg/s1600/Trick.gif"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5532187070426162898" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 104px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 107px" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_nF-BnG55DY4/TMZG1GvCptI/AAAAAAAAADE/wjhIHoWF3Xg/s200/Trick.gif" border="0" /></a></div><br /><br /><div align="left">There is no trick, no gimmick, no secret to turning the tide in African American perception and culture. The solution comes in three steps that work together...</div><br /><div align="left"></div><br /><div align="left"></div><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_nF-BnG55DY4/TMZMFUj8MpI/AAAAAAAAADs/6uceupzIDLQ/s1600/3+Steps.bmp"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5532192846573744786" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 295px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 239px" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_nF-BnG55DY4/TMZMFUj8MpI/AAAAAAAAADs/6uceupzIDLQ/s320/3+Steps.bmp" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><br /><div align="center">1. <em>Collective Mental Liberation</em><br /></div><br /><br /><br /><div align="center">2. <em>Knowledge of history - hence, knowledge of self </em><br /><br /></div><br /><div align="center">3. <em>Pride for self - respect for others</em></div><div><br /> </div><div align="left">To change the way WE think, it is <strong>not </strong>enough for a few, or even a region, of African Americans to strive towards collective mental liberation. What <em><strong>IS</strong></em> effective is that the majority of African Americans collectively free their minds. We can equate this to the structure of a house. A house has a foundation, a roof, walls, doors, and windows. Each of these components by themselves are nothing. A roof cannot be upright without walls to place it on; nor can walls cannot stand tall without a solid foundation...the same concept applies to us, without each member of the African American race working together, WE CANNOT STAND.<br /></div><br /><div align="left">After making the decision to free our minds, the next step is to KNOW ourselves. As you can tell, I have much admiration for Marcus Garvey. One of the first quotes I learned from him is: "A people without knowledge of its past is like a tree with no roots." Simply statement - pure expression. How many trees have YOU seen with no roots? Likely, none. They don't exist because without having roots to dig into the earth and provide things of value to the tree, the tree would die. When we do not know our history, we cease to grow. When we cease to grow, we cease to exist.</div><br /><br /><div><br /><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 247px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 261px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://www.txcable.com/images/blackHistoryCollage.gif" border="0" /><br /></div><div align="left">Finally, when you know WHO you are, especially as an African American - with our rich history, beautiful ancestors, skillful inventors, talented writers, influential artists...oh, the list could go on - you can't help but have pride for yourself!! I know I do! And out of that positive self-image comes the respect for self, and also the respect you give to others.</div><br /><br /><div align="left"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 199px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 237px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_WAsZai723Yk/TAZuWbcguHI/AAAAAAAAAhQ/By8p7U3kef4/s1600/graduation+cap.jpg" border="0" /></div><br /><br /><br /><div align="center">The lesson is over...you've graduated...now, let the application begin!<br /></div><br /><br /><div align="center">~Peace~<br /></div><br /><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:180%;">"<span style="color:#ff0000;">The </span><strong>Black</strong> <span style="color:#009900;">skin</span> <span style="color:#6633ff;">is </span><span style="color:#ff6600;">not</span> <span style="color:#996633;">a</span> <span style="color:#000099;">badge</span> <span style="color:#cc33cc;">of</span> <span style="color:#ff9966;">shame</span>, <span style="color:#006600;">but</span> <span style="color:#33ffff;">rather</span> <span style="color:#ff0000;">a </span><span style="color:#ff6600;">glorious</span> <span style="color:#000099;">symbol</span> <span style="color:#666666;">of </span><span style="color:#ff0000;">national </span><span style="color:#6633ff;">greatness</span>." </span><br /></div><br /><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;"><em>- Marcus Garvey</em></span></div></div></div>Ms Quihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15700088094136561568noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6448150671758169257.post-33633769307342094432010-10-24T16:21:00.002-05:002010-10-24T16:27:44.710-05:00The Seven Steps of Answered Prayer Are<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_QINkTFQZxio/TMSiLU4W6nI/AAAAAAAAACw/kEr6PgDBHuo/s1600/PRAYER.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5531724557785164402" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_QINkTFQZxio/TMSiLU4W6nI/AAAAAAAAACw/kEr6PgDBHuo/s320/PRAYER.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; float: right; height: 206px; margin: 0 0 10px 10px; width: 245px;" /></a><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">By GuestBug <i>justJames</i></span></span><br />
<div style="background-color: transparent; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><ol><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Be Specific And Stand On God's Word! (Psalm 119:65) </span></span></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Ask God For What You Want! (John 16:23-24) </span></span></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Be Positive In Your Thinking! (Luke 12:22) </span></span></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Guard Your Mind! (Isaiah 55:9) </span></span></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Meditation Is The Key To Successful Prayer! (Joshua 1:8) </span></span></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Continually Thank God For The Answer! (Philippians 4:6) </span></span></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Make Every Prayer A Statement Of Faith! (Isaiah 43:26)</span></span></span></li>
</ol></div>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6448150671758169257.post-70959357400191032792010-10-21T06:00:00.004-05:002010-11-09T14:28:04.993-06:00Street Harassment and the Problem of WWF (Walking While Female)<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.thesaudavoice.com/.a/6a00e55291ee848833010536f995d4970c-pi"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 270px;" src="http://www.thesaudavoice.com/.a/6a00e55291ee848833010536f995d4970c-pi" alt="" border="0" /></a><em>I am writing this post in response to </em><a href="http://www.rippdemup.com/2010/09/street-meet-black-women-black-men.html#ixzz10GjOM4WI">another blog post</a><em> that I read. It was about street harassment, and it was a rather incendiary post, the language of which made me more than angry. While 99% of my experiences with street harassment have involved black men, I have no interest in using that fact to argue that black men are somehow more prone to this type of harassment, to perpetuate any racist stereotypes about black men. Unlike the woman in the other post, I think this is a problem that black men and women </em>need to talk about<em>, and wholesale accusing black men of being sexist assholes only prevents dialogue, and it obscures the problem. And this </em>is<em> a problem – a problem that has been talked about by feminists and women in general for ages. This is a problem that involves the way men are raised to view women and the way women are raised to accept certain behaviors from men. I'll say more on this in another post. Right now, I share my stories because I think the discussion needs to begin somewhere: why not with the personal? I share these stories because I think it’s time we talk about how oppressive it often is just to walk while female.</em> <p style="color: rgb(255, 204, 204);"><strong><em>Some Spring Day in Downtown Springfield, Missouri - 2006</em></strong></p> <p>After locking my bike onto a rack, I cross the street. The street is typically empty around mid-day, and this day is no exception. I head to Mudhouse Coffee, ready to sit and do some hearty pleasure reading. Just when I make it to the other side, I hear, “Hey, hey, pssst!” I roll my eyes, thinking, “Oh, lord, leave me alone.” I turn around: this is probably my first mistake. “Yeah, come here,” says a black guy with a cap twisted to the left side, as he sits in the passenger side of his best friend’s car. Or maybe his brother’s car. Imagine how much I <em>don’t</em> care.</p> <p>I offer a nod and resume walking. Then, I hear, “Come on, girl, how you gon do me like that?” Mudhouse is a block away, and I realize these idiots are going to creep beside me in their car until I make it to my destination.</p> <p>This has happened a few times before. I was in high school in Little Rock the first time it happened, and I was out walking with my younger cousin who was visiting from Dallas. A car containing at least three guys pulled up, and two of them tried to holler at us as the driver crept at a slow pace. I tried to ignore them as they talked: “Yo, come on, I just want a number,” “You can’t give a nigga a number?” Before I knew it, my younger cousin turned to one of the boys, and yelled, “Boo nigga!” I almost fell out laughing. I almost felt bad for those boys. And either they were embarrassed or they thought she was crazy because they promptly drove off. I think I heard one of them mutter, “bitch” right before they turned the corner.</p> <p>I’m not thinking about that high school moment as these dudes harass me in Springfield. I am thinking about how annoyed I am. I look at the boy who’s talking to me, and all I can think is, “Negro please.” Just imagine Pam from <em>Martin</em>, the TV show, talking to Cole. That’s the voice I have in my head.</p> <p>Finally, I turn to the boy – he certainly wasn’t acting like a man, so I dare not call him one – and I say in as civilized a fashion as I can manage, “I am not interested, okay. So, you go on” – I actually wave my hand, as if to shew them away – “and have a good day.” I didn’t smile. I didn’t mean it nicely. I meant, “Go on, now, before I get really real with you.”</p> <p>He mumbles something along the lines of, “For real? Not even a number?” I don’t reply. Before they drive off, he offers, “You have a good day too, then, Miss Lady.” And that is it. I never saw the boy again.</p> <p style="color: rgb(255, 204, 204);"><strong><em>Some Summer Day in Downtown Iowa City, Iowa - 2009</em></strong></p> <p>“Hey, hey, hey, slow down Miss Lady,” says an older black guy, in his forties probably. He has a chipped front tooth. I wonder why they are always calling me “Miss Lady.” I guess it could be “bitch,” so maybe I should be thankful.</p> <p>I am crossing the street in one direction and he is crossing in the other direction, wearing baggy gray sweatpants and an ill-fitting white t-shirt. This man actually switches directions in order to walk alongside me. It’s the same man who once sat right next to me on the bus and proceeded to pester me with stupid come-ons for all of fifteen minutes, while I proceeded to make him feel like an idiot, again in the most civilized manner I could manage. “You know I’m your number one fan,” he told me the first time he talked to me on the bus. When I told him that was the stupidest thing I’d ever heard, that hopefully he was joking, he then explained that he’d seen me in the grocery store once and spoke to me, that surely I should remember him. I shook my head: “Nope. I remember faces. And yours ain’t one I’ve seen.” Then, I turned away to read my book. He continued yappering, and I essentially ignored him until he shut up.</p> <p>This time, on the street, I waved him away, just as I’d done that boy in the passenger seat several years earlier. And, just like that boy, he quickly got the hint, said, “All right. I see how it’s gon be,” and turned in the other direction. He doesn’t bother speaking to me anymore when he sees me.</p> <p style="color: rgb(255, 204, 204);"><strong><em>A Cold Day in May in Chicago - 2009</em></strong></p> <p>I am by myself on the University of Chicago campus, walking and taking in some of the neighborhood. The area starts to look a little sketchy and I take a turn onto a more pleasant looking street, where I find a coffeehouse. I get a soy vanilla latte and leave the coffeehouse. As I’m making my way back to the hostel on campus, this young black dude crosses the street to talk to me. He’s wearing a baseball cap, turned to the back and slightly sagging pants. He asks me my name and I refuse to tell him, but he just goes on, nicely: “Oh, I ain’t trying to be all up in your face or nothing.” I glance at him, trying to see what he’s about.</p> <p>“I just wanted to catch up to you so I can tell you your style is hot. I like it,” he says. "I was telling my boy over there," he pointed back toward the corner where another similarly clad black man was standing, "and he was like, 'You oughta go tell her'."</p> <p>My fro is standing high and I am wearing a light blue wool peacoat and wide flare (bell-bottom) pants. I probably look like I stepped out of a Shaft film. It’s late May and I am still wearing a peacoat. Thank you, Chicago, for your never-ending winters. “That's nice. Thanks,” I say to the man. He smiles, and as he stops to cross back to the other side of the street, he tells me, “Stay beautiful, sista.” I nod. I probably even smile a little as I say, “You have a good day, now!”</p> <p>That last scene captures the majority of encounters I’ve had on the street with random black men. I wouldn't call what happened in that scene harassment. Maybe I didn't want to be bothered, but the man was respectful and kind. I have no problem nodding, smiling, or holding casual conversation with a stranger - so long as I'm not in a hurry. In fact, I like interacting with strangers. Makes me feel all connected to the world and stuff. But many women might consider what happened in that scene a form of harassment - a benign sort of harassment. While I wouldn't agree, I guess I can see where such women would be coming from. If you don't want to be bothered, you don't want to be bothered, and people should respect your right not to be bothered.</p> <p>Like many women, though, I’ve had my share of run-ins with jerks, encounters more violent than the ones I’ve shared above:</p> <ul><li>I spent second semester of my junior year in London. There, a dreadlocked light-skinned guy actually grabbed my arm in the middle of Piccadilly Circus one night and tried to make me drink from his bottle of Hypnotic. I shit you not. Although pepper spray was then illegal to carry in London - I only found that out once I left London - I was seconds away from spraying him. I must have hurled every curse word and hateful thing I could think of at that guy, as my friend dragged me away from him. I'm pretty sure I tried to spit on him.</li></ul> <ul><li>The first time I ever visited Chicago – junior year of college – I went with two white male friends, and when we ended up on a dodgy street at night, a couple of black guys tried to holler at me, yelling all kinds of tacky shit at me, like, “Damn, you fine as hell,” or “Damn, you a little skinny, but I like skinny women.” When I rejected them, they launched all kinds of obscenities at me, obscenities that mainly pertained to my being with two white dudes: “sell out bitch,” “cheap hoe,” etc. I ignored them and kept walking. Because it was my first time in a big city, it didn’t even cross my mind that their verbal violence could turn physical. Luckily, it didn’t. That same night, I was on the train with my two friends, when two black boys tried to videotape me and some random white girl on their videophone. They said some nasty, sleazy shit to me and that girl. The white girl looked utterly terrified. I, however, having already been thoroughly pissed off by the earlier encounter, turned and told the boys that I would fuck them up if they didn’t take that camera off of me at that moment. I know they could have hurt me, but I didn’t care. I’ve never been one to walk through the world fearful of men, letting them talk to me any kind of way. (It should be noted that my two friends didn't say a damn thing. They actually shushed me when I started going off on the two guys. I'm often amazed at how often men are complicit in the sexist-oppressive behavior of other men. Or else just too intimidated to oppose them.)</li></ul> <p>My experience with <a href="http://www.thesaudavoice.com/the_sauda_voice/2009/01/street-harassment-of-black-women.html">this problem</a> – <strong><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D2Qpi-fW6jA">street harassment</a></strong> – has admittedly been more fortunate than others. Guys usually smile at me or else speak respectfully to me. And when I refuse to speak to them, they usually turn and find some other poor girl to antagonize. Maybe I have some sort of look about me that says, “I really ain’t got time for bullshit.” I don’t know. What I do know is that some of my experiences have been far from pleasant, and it pains me to realize that I have been lucky, that some girls receive far worse.</p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6448150671758169257.post-8989673297324844432010-10-20T08:51:00.004-05:002010-10-24T16:39:38.541-05:00"Because You Aren't Doing S%!T With Your Life"<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">By GuestBug </span><a href="http://randomistathoughts.blogspot.com/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">TOAR</span></a></div><div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://randomistathoughts.blogspot.com/"></a></span></div></div><br />
<br />
Hello My Lovelies by inheritance! It's TOAR here with more <a href="http://randomistathoughts.blogspot.com/">Random Writing Chaos</a>!<br />
This Month is about a friend's heartbreak.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_h1PcvWwQirM/TLr56Mzo8EI/AAAAAAAAAaY/lQBj9JPkXFM/s1600/BFF.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="297" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_h1PcvWwQirM/TLr56Mzo8EI/AAAAAAAAAaY/lQBj9JPkXFM/s320/BFF.jpg" width="320" /></a><br />
<br />
<br />
I have <b>REPEATEDLY</b> written about worthless friends because that is<br />
something that I hold true to my heart. Since I am an only child, I look<br />
for companionship through the relationships that I have with other<br />
people, especially my friends.<br />
<br />
In High School, I was the girl that was friends with everybody - pretty<br />
damn popular but not in the 'Skank' kinda way. I was captain of almost<br />
all of the girls sports teams and Senior Class President. I had a fucked<br />
up attitude when I was pissed off but overall, I was pretty outgoing and<br />
down to earth. Back then I had 3 best friends. I couldn't believe it!<br />
Some people aren't even blessed to have 1 but I had 3. Therefore I was<br />
officially the shit - one for every occasion: party chick, emotional,<br />
and the one.<br />
<br />
Party Chick and I always went out - one whole summer of partying. It<br />
didn't matter where or when - we were there. Emo, well she was always<br />
there when I was feeling insecure and vice versa. The One - we've been<br />
friends for about 10 years now, before high school she was there.<br />
<blockquote><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><br />
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">It is better to be in chains with friends , than to be in a<br />
garden with strangers.</span></span></i></b></div><br />
</blockquote><br />
Now that I am in my last year of college - I am only down to "The One."<br />
Emotional got exchanged because of lack of contact for another emotional<br />
in college. Then EMO #2 dipped out on me because she was jealous of my<br />
relationship (same with party chick) and her "fiance" didn't like that I<br />
made my own decisions, in a nut shell. This one hurt the most.<br />
<br />
All of my Friends, The One included, got jealous of my continuing<br />
education. I feel like either you are going to get on my band wagon and<br />
do something positive with your life, or you aren't. I don't want to<br />
affiliate my self with people who can't determine where their life is<br />
going or have any goals to get there. Now I am not saying that you have<br />
to go to a 4 year university and become a rocket scientist, but damn -<br />
not sitting at home with your momma all day playing video games; going<br />
to the club every weekend and spend your last $10 to get in; asking<br />
where the weed man is at. Luckly for The One, she hopped on - otherwise<br />
her ass was going to get dismissed too. I hate to sound like a bitch but<br />
it is the truth.<br />
<blockquote><br />
<br />
<center><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">People come into<br />
your life for<br />
a REASON, a SEASON, or a LIFETIME,<br />
when you figure out which it is,<br />
you know exactly what to do</span></span></i></b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">.</span></center></blockquote><br />
So here is the point. I just learned the lesson of friends. You grow up<br />
and grow apart, loss of contact, or jealousy all plays a role. In all<br />
these situations, the biggest factor I seen was the relationships. I<br />
just want to know why? I am the kind of person that doesn't care if your<br />
boyfriend doesn't like my high spirit or my potty mouth; I am YOUR<br />
friend, not his. I can tolerate him because I love YOU. Why did you care<br />
if my ring looked better then yours? Why can't you have a brain of your<br />
own? Why can't you decipher between "girl friend talk" and "relationship<br />
talk"? <b>Why did you pick HIM over ME</b>?<br />
<br />
Let's get this straight, I haven't been the "Saint" of friendships<br />
either but throughout all of my discrepancies, I came back to apologize<br />
and make right because like I said before, nothing is more important to<br />
me than my close friends.<br />
<br />
I figured out that I just won't talk about my relationships with my<br />
friends. The good or bad. It is so messed up that I had to loose so many<br />
and experience so much friendship heartbreak it will scar me for life.<br />
But that is the price you pay when you want a positive circle around you<br />
and in the end, positive people will just gravitate into your life and<br />
everyone's happy! I hope to find my "Sex in the City Friends."<br />
<br />
PS. <b>Do you ever notice how women just talk to their bff's about the<br />
bad shit in their relationship</b>?<br />
<blockquote><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">A real friend is<br />
one who walks in when the rest of the world walks<br />
out.</span></i></span></span></b></div><br />
</blockquote><br />
-------------------------------------------<br />
View More From TOAR on <a href="http://junebugtalking.blogspot.com/search/label/Thoughts%20of%20a%20Randomista">Junebug<br />
Talks</a>.<br />
Follow and Comment on TOAR's Personal Blog at <a href="http://randomistathoughts.blogspot.com/">Thoughts of a Randomista</a>.<br />
Contact TOAR to guest post on your blog at <a href="mailto:thoughtsofarandomista@gmail.com">thoughtsofarandomista@gmail.com</a>.<br />
<a href="http://draft.blogger.com/randomistathoughts.blogspot.com"><img src="http://bit.ly/diBjVp" /></a>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6448150671758169257.post-2911567154194345522010-10-19T08:51:00.007-05:002010-10-24T16:28:40.708-05:00Groupies - "An Unreal Reality"By GuestBug Nutty<br />
<div><br />
<br />
<div><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_QINkTFQZxio/TL2mIm21v6I/AAAAAAAAACQ/_JWXPHnXceI/s1600/Groupie.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5529758584280563618" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_QINkTFQZxio/TL2mIm21v6I/AAAAAAAAACQ/_JWXPHnXceI/s320/Groupie.jpg" style="cursor: hand; display: block; height: 256px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 320px;" /></a> So when I was asked to submit a guest blog spot for the ladies of JuneBug Talk, different ideas went through my mind for what I should talk about...One day i wanted to talk about relationships, next day - about sports and not until yesterday did I decide to talk about......GROUPIES!!! Mainly because I know my distorted view would be real and kinda funny idea of what groupies are.<br />
<div><br />
<div>The industry I work in is one that makes you HOT when you're on top, and NOT when your not. Currently myself and my team are what's hot, just being honest. Our events, projects and musical artists and generating a large buzz in California and along with our different personalities, we attract a lot of different people. We work with big artists, pro athletes and other industry heavyweights so we basically see it all and they all would agree that the views I have are probably the funniest, yet real ones because of the fact that I don't hold back on MY opinions. </div><br />
<div>So, the topic of groupies...as I said before I see a lot in the industry I am in, and one of the biggest problems outside of dealing with people that do bad business, is groupies. They come in all shape<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_QINkTFQZxio/TL2lqQ5JWQI/AAAAAAAAACI/7aucGWaonOQ/s1600/KatStacks.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5529758062988581122" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_QINkTFQZxio/TL2lqQ5JWQI/AAAAAAAAACI/7aucGWaonOQ/s200/KatStacks.jpg" style="cursor: hand; float: left; height: 200px; margin: 0px 10px 10px 0px; width: 118px;" /></a>s and sizes. I have had many conversations as to how to define groupies and this is what I have come up with, A groupie is a PERSON (man and female groupies exist) who believes in using materialistic and physical qualities to penetrate the life of a celebrity for their own personal gain whether it be for money, fame or notoriety in life. Example, I do a lot of NBA events - when basketball season comes around which runs from Late October to late April. There are specific groups of girls that I do not hear from until that time of year to come out and "party." Those girls I would consider groupies. Not my groupies, but none the less, groupies. Not only do these girls not want to pay to get into the event, they want to be escorted to the VIP and personally introduced to the player of their choosing. On my end, there are perks to this...lol...out of a group of 5, 4 are probably really pretty and one may be kinda cute. But out of those 4 that are pretty, only ONE will successfully end up having a player actually call, so that leaves the rest fiending for the next best thing, the promoter....lol...the problem with this is that I am basically feeding into this problem that plagues the industry. These ladies don't pay to get in so I don't make any money off of it, they don't buy drinks so the club doesn't make any money, so whats the purpose?? Ending up with one of these girls at the end of the night to go home, I guess that's OK, but not as gratifying if those 5 girls paid $20 each to get into the party!</div><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5529759551429390770" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_QINkTFQZxio/TL2nA5xFsbI/AAAAAAAAACg/WBgsDyMWj9k/s320/GoldDiggers.jpg" style="cursor: hand; display: block; height: 201px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 300px;" /><br />
<div>My only beef with groupies is this, don't be one and be ashamed to be one. if you wanna snag an athlete or anyone of high stature to better your life, by all means, go for yours because it happens and I'm a realist and I'm not gonna bash anyone for doing what they do because groupies do exist and they aren't going anywhere.Theres different levels on the groupie scene but ill save that for another post and leave this to think about for now!</div><br />
<div align="center">Catch me on my site for updates each week:</div><br />
<div align="center"><strong>NuttyIsFamous.blogspot.com </strong></div><br />
<div align="center">I wanna thank the ladies from JuneBug Talk for allowing me to be a guest blogger this week and hope I can do it again sometime soon :) </div><br />
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</div></div></div>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6448150671758169257.post-66224704423945410002010-10-14T07:00:00.023-05:002010-12-08T13:55:04.893-06:00Whip My Hair<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">At just nine years old, little Willow has stunned millions with her first single called "Whip My Hair." Now I'm not here to criticize the young diva 'cause I must say she's doing her thing, and I can admit to whippin' my hair back and forth when I hear the track too. What? It's catchy; don’t judge me! There's definitely something to be said about a child who can sing "Don't matter if it's long or short. Do it, do it. Whip Your Hair!" about hair confidence. How many of us share this same level of esteem when it comes to our manes? I certainly don’t.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span><br />
<div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">About a year ago, I chose to break things off with the creamy crack. That's right - THE BREAKUP. I told my addiction to straight, chemically processed hair, "It's not you, it's me," and I have since experienced some good and bad hair days. It was hard, and I struggled after getting a significant amount of my hair cut off, so I got a hair crew, a team to support me through my recovery. Now the "new" me and my tresses, still traveling on this hair journey, are here to talk briefly about that trek to the ultimate destination, hair confidence.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><o:p></o:p></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">For those who know me, you know I'm very particular about my hair, and I can be a bit (okay, REALLY) meticulous…occasionally. That's why going natural has been so challenging for me, but I've decided to go the long haul. What I’ve found more interesting than my own admiration or lack there of when it comes to my napturality is how others have responded to my look.While I, at times, can’t stand it, others rave over my hair and ask questions as to how I managed to achieve my curls or my pressed look when in my mind it’s pure mediocrity. This led me to a SERIOUS question [dramatic music playing], “Is all hair confidence created equally?”, and [music stops]. I would say, “NOT!” Which led me to another question [no music this time], “How does one achieve hair confidence?” For answers, I sought the advice of a few members of my hair team, GuestBugs hairChick and stacI</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">hairChick, the professional stylist, shares her personal experience...</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></span></span></div><blockquote><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">"Okay, hair confidence?!? Yeah, still trying to find mine! The other day, as I walked into Hobby </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Lobby, a chick stopped me and mouthed, "Love the hair!" with a huge smile on her face. As usual, I put on an open mouth smile and said "Thanks!" while really thinking that my hair looked a HOT MESS!!! I put more pressure on myself because hair is my profession. Like, I have to have great looking hair all the time, and I do fall short sometimes (in my eyes). Being natural is totally new to me because I was getting my hair straightened since preschool, starting with presses then relaxers. So my hair confidence went to zero, and I'm slowly trying to build it. I think some women have an overall confidence, so it's easy for them to not be shaken by an "okay" hair day. What I'm doing is just taking it one day at a time and not letting an off hair day, get me down so much. When I wake up and my hair is not right, I fro it and keep it moving! </span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">"If you think changing your hair will give you have more confidence....it won't! You have to find happiness in what you have (which also applies to more than just hair) and trust when people say that your hair looks awesome. So go ahead, whip that hair, even if you don't like it. Once you believe in your hair, others will too!"</span></span></span></div></blockquote><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Hair Confidence according to stacI...</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></span></div><blockquote><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">"I believe self-confidence must be achieved in order for one to have what is called hair confidence. True self-confidence (and inner beauty) will radiate through your body and out through your split ends, curls, dreadlocks, crinkles, twists, braids, or what have you. Look in an "Objects Are Closer Than They Appear" mirror and really evaluate you. Then, you'll be able to recognize, love, and appreciate your strands. You'll glow like something luminous, and your hair will flow in a natural wind.</span></span></div></blockquote><blockquote><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">"About three years ago, I transitioned from relaxed hair to natural, and it was truly an experience. Seven months into the transition I cut my hair and really went from “every six week relaxer girl with straight hair almost touching the middle of her back” to “girl with tiny wanna be locs that wouldn't hold for the world” I found myself putting on flashy earrings and MAC eye shadow to “help me out.” I’d always been hair confident, but that drastic change shocked me. What was I to do without any hair? But I did have hair, to go with a beautiful face and perfect skin tone (I’m not conceited at all). I had to quickly snap out of and realize that my hair was what I’d wanted it to be. A beautiful part of me."</span></span></blockquote><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"></span></span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">So Buggies, tell me what you think. Ladies, how does one embody hair confidence, and how do you express yours? Fellas, what attracts you to a woman with hair confidence? What’s your take on hair confidence in general and Willow’s single, "Whip My Hair?"</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">As for me, you ask. For now, I'm whippin' my sometimes curly, sometimes poofy, sometimes cooperative hair and working my way onto hair confidence. Deuces!</span></span><br />
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</span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px;"><object height="385" width="500"><param name="movie" value="http://www.vevo.com/VideoPlayer/Embedded?videoId=USSM21001602&playlist=false&autoplay=0&playerId=62FF0A5C-0D9E-4AC1-AF04-1D9E97EE3961&playerType=embedded&env=0"></param><param name="bgcolor" value="#000000"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.vevo.com/VideoPlayer/Embedded?videoId=USSM21001602&playlist=false&autoplay=0&playerId=62FF0A5C-0D9E-4AC1-AF04-1D9E97EE3961&playerType=embedded&env=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" width="500" height="385" bgcolor="#000000"></embed></object></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 13pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _</span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">For more from hairChick, hit up her blog at </span></span><a href="http://hairchick.wordpress.com/" target="_blank"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">http://hairChick.wordpress.<wbr></wbr>com</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">. </span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Check out stacI on her very own journey to better at </span></span><a href="http://ibecomebetter.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">http://ibecomebetter.<wbr></wbr>blogspot.com</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">.</span></span></div></div>Ms MaSharihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11494679320196778015noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6448150671758169257.post-88414604868118037532010-10-12T07:00:00.024-05:002010-10-24T16:29:27.123-05:00When Image is Everything<div style="background-color: transparent; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span id="internal-source-marker_0.2823335744906217" style="background-color: transparent; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">By GuestBug Vivian</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span><br />
<blockquote><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Public relations (PR) – noun</span></span></span></blockquote></div><ol><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">the actions of a corporation, store, government, individual, etc., in promoting goodwill between itself and the public, the community, employees, customers, etc. </span></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">the art, technique, or profession of promoting such goodwill </span></span></li>
</ol><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
I have a theory. Whenever you meet someone new, you always put your best foot forward. You project yourself in a manner that shows more of the likable parts than not. You aren’t acting insecure or timid (or maybe you are, I don’t know); you’re a gorgeous, confident diva who doesn’t take any crap. Well, I call this good PR.<br />
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When it comes to online dating, it’s very easy to do. You write a happy description of yourself and your likes; in my experience, if you come off as a “Debbie Downer,” guys aren’t into it. Think about it: if you read a guy’s profile and it’s even the slightest bit pessimistic…it’s not really attractive, is it?<br />
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So people keep it peppy. It’s almost like the type of PR you put out for a job interview; instead of a new job, it’s a new mate. The first few exchanges are like the preliminary round. A few email/phone call/text messages later, you’re out on date #1. Date #1 is like your first in-person interview. You dress to the nines for the occasion, and if you hit it off, it’s date #2. If it keeps going at this rate, who knows where you end up. At some point, you let the walls down and show it all, the good and the bad. And that’s the true test.<br />
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Have you ever been out with someone and after a few dates you slowly realize this person is not the person you thought they were? I once dated a guy who kept it up for a whole three months. He was a soft-spoken, laid back rocker type who was totally the observer. For those of you who don’t know me, I’m a talker. I mean I can talk you into next Tuesday if you let me, but not about superficial topics of conversation. And I did most of the talking. The thing was, he was the exact opposite of what he presented. I’m a liberal, so he was liberal. But he really wasn’t. To each his own, but own it, feel me? After three months, his true self came out, and it wasn’t for me. He just had such good PR, he didn’t PR any of his actual qualities.<br />
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So in my quest for online love, I’ve seen this more often than not. I read a guy’s profile, he sounds pretty rad, we talk on the phone, he can carry on an intelligent conversation, we meet, and there’s always something. Like date #15 whose profile said he was 5’9”, but when we met he was actually 5’6”. Or date #1 whose profile said he was looking for long-term, but then told me he was really just looking for a friend. The point is, whether I’m online through my profile or meeting someone in person, I’m not projecting my insecurities; I am trying to keep it real. Good PR only takes you so far; the rest has to come from you, baby!<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Read more of Vivian's dating perspective at her very own blog, <a href="http://datinginqc.blogspot.com/">http://datinginqc.blogspot.com</a>.</span></span></div>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6448150671758169257.post-6217457145002215022010-10-09T20:11:00.011-05:002010-10-24T16:40:27.218-05:00Decisions<div><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_QINkTFQZxio/TLET8PHsiLI/AAAAAAAAAB4/3euaBSrePbI/s1600/Pathway.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5526220143332198578" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_QINkTFQZxio/TLET8PHsiLI/AAAAAAAAAB4/3euaBSrePbI/s320/Pathway.jpg" style="cursor: hand; float: left; height: 260px; margin: 0px 10px 10px 0px; width: 260px;" /></a><br />
By GuestBug <i>j</i><em>ustJames</em><br />
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It's what separates man from animals. Animals are preprogrammed by God. Everything an animal does from eating, to migrating, to finding a mate, even having sex... It's all preprogrammed.</div><br />
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But we are different, we have the power to make decisions. At the core of your life, you will find decisions. So you're an adult and you make all your own decisions right? Why aren't you living the life you want? Why do you only pretend to be happy and content in front of others, but secretly you are still trying to "find your purpose"?<br />
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<div>I want to challenge you today to take inventory of your life. Why don't you have the job or career you desire, that business, girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, wife! What ever it is you desire... why don't you have it? One word, decision. As in you haven't made the decision yet. Your life is literally one decision away from being the greatest life you have ever lived no matter where you are in life, no matter what your age! God says in John 10:10, "...I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (overflows) (amp)." You are not here just to simply "make it" or survive. If you are not fulfilled, then it is on you to change it and I can show you how!</div><br />
<div>You see, unfortunately we have turned our lives into a series of preferences, never really making a true decision. Most of us make decisions by stating things like, "I would like to lose weight, or I need to stop smoking" (Laughing) or the infamous new years resolution! While making a true decision means cutting off any other possibility. There is no plan "B" with a true decision. We have all been taught to have a back up plan. For some things that's great, but for your true passion, for you true decision! That's not sound advice. Ok say it with me, "A back up plan is for just in case I fail. With a true decision, failure is not an option!" You believe you have a purpose in this life beyond what you are doing or have done right? At the very heart of that purpose or purposes is your decision just waiting to be made! Jesus says, "Let your Yes be simply Yes, and your No be simply No... (Matthew 5:37,amp) and even goes further to tell us the dangers of a person who can't make decisions. A double minded man is unstable in all his ways (James 1:8, kjv). </div><br />
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<div></div><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5526221631332927074" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_QINkTFQZxio/TLEVS2WtxmI/AAAAAAAAACA/_u8AYnDjAII/s200/Light.jpg" style="cursor: hand; display: block; height: 150px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 200px;" /><br />
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<div>Again, think about where you are and where you want to be. Write down your thoughts because this the beginning of your journey to the new you. Follow this series (3-4 parts) and eliminate fear and excuses, and have faith in the power you already have.This journey will encourage, inspire and change your life. In part 2 we will continue our journey, by exploring six keys to harness Your power of making decisions.</div></div>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6448150671758169257.post-46035367492153944342010-10-07T05:00:00.000-05:002010-10-08T03:34:37.302-05:00Top 10 Total BS!! Propaganda in the Media, Society and World in general…. Today!Have you ever sat down and said to yourself... “Self, why are certain things the way they are… what is the logic behind the information that was given to me?” I tend to do that from time to time, more so now that I’m a lot older and exposed to more and more. I don’t know about you guys… but I’m not one who takes to KINDLY to bullcrap of any kind: from friends, family and especially the media. So with that said, let me just go on my rant of what I believe is total BS that we are forced to abide by and or believe!<br /><br /><a href="http://bullshitoftheworld.com/wp/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/bullshit.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 349px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 350px; CURSOR: hand" border="0" alt="" src="http://bullshitoftheworld.com/wp/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/bullshit.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><strong><br /><em>10. CAR INSURANCE</em></strong>- is it ILLEGAL to drive around without it??? I mean, I could understand if I was a bad driver and had a car accident or 2… but what about the people whose never had a ticket before??? What that about… if it’s the LAW to have car insurance… why isn’t it law and or cheaper to have HEALTH insurance?? So If my car breaks down… then its covered but if I break down and I’m unemployed… I’m screwed???!!!<br /><br /><em><strong>9.40 hr work week</strong>-</em> Why do I have to work this???? How about 20 hrs??? And more importantly… why do I need to work this in order to get benefits at my job… actually…. Why do I need a JOB in order to get mediocre health care benefits?? Can somebody answer me this?? Please???<br /><br /><strong><em>8. Merchant charges</em></strong>- you ever been somewhere and in order to use your debit or credit card THEY CHARGE YOU???? WTH??? I have to PAY in order to PAY YOU??? And the cold part about it is that every company has to pay a fee whenever a customer decides to use their own bank cards… so why would you charge me something that ALL MERCHANTS HAVE TO PAY!!! And while we’re at it! ATM FEES! DIE PLEASE!!!!<br /><br /><strong><em>7. Gratuity-</em></strong> while I’m on the money rant! Let’s talk about how this one! Hmm… Last I checked… the definition of the word GRATUITY meant<br />“: something given voluntarily or beyond obligation usually for some service; especially : TIP”<br />Key word… VOLUNTARILY without obligation… so… why is that.. this GRATUITY is demanded at restaurants in a party of 6 or more….. Huh?? Did I miss something?? Explain this to me?<br /><br /><em><strong>6. TSA at the Airport</strong>-</em>I don’t know how many time ive had my facial cleanser, Nair or anything liquid thrown away… come on… DO I LOOK LIKE I KNOW HOW TO BLOW UP A PLANE???? Yet we still have almost successful attempts to blow up planes… GOSH DARNIT! I WANT MY STUFF BACK! Matter of fact… this terrorist scare is bullcrap as well!<br /><a href="http://www.phuckinpissedoff.com/forums/images/misc/pissed_off.gif"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 300px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 300px; CURSOR: hand" border="0" alt="" src="http://www.phuckinpissedoff.com/forums/images/misc/pissed_off.gif" /></a><br /><br /><br /><strong><em>5. Obama is Muslim-</em></strong> first off … do we not all remember the whole scandal surrounding Obama.. CHRISTIAN PASTOR!! The Rev. Jeremiah Wright, Obama's pastor for the last 20 years at the Trinity United Church of Christ on Chicago's south side, the man who wed him and Michelle and baptized both his daughters??? So … does this make him Muslim?? His dad may have been… but Obama only spend 2 months of his life with his dad when he was 10… I hardly find that influencing. Besides… even if he WAS a Muslim, does that hinder him from serving as our leader? Does that make him less of one? Last I checked… Muslim was only a religion.<br /><br /><strong><em>4. Prop 8 -</em></strong> my eyes have been open on why this was such a big deal! Although much opposed this law from the beginning, this law wasn’t enforced under Christian principles… like they would like you to believe… no its due to the lost in taxes the state suffers. If Gay were allowed to marry then they would gain the benefits of all married couples.. YET they are less likely to reproduce OR have children… in which would mean less taxes they pay to the state.. think about it.. if America was so set on “Christian Principles” we would all be forced into one religion…. Think about it for a sec ………….<br /><br /><strong><em>3. Use of Bluetooth instead of cell phone</em> -</strong>they say that by using a cell phone while driving you’re as safe as a drunk driver on the road… which I can agree… however…. What difference does using a bluetooth make???? Your still using the phone…. Does it really make a difference that the phone is NOT in your hand??? Who using 2 hands to drive anyway???<br /><br /><strong><em>2. 2012-</em></strong> c’mon son!! Even if the world would end in 2012… do you think we are intelligent enough to KNOW ABOUT IT before hand???!!!!!???<br /><a href="http://i.ytimg.com/vi/AGQLRKywRqg/0.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 480px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 360px; CURSOR: hand" border="0" alt="" src="http://i.ytimg.com/vi/AGQLRKywRqg/0.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><em><strong>1.Swine Flu </strong></em>– this scared people into the biggest frenzy ive ever seen!!! Why were we so scared of swine flu??? So a flu that I can only catch by touching something that may have been contaminated prior… that has the SAME symptoms as the regular flu…. Is suppose to scare me??? Just make sure everyone washes yours hands. That’s all you gotta do! Besides… did you know that the regular Influenza kills 800 people a week each flu season AND its AIRBORNE!?? But im scared of Swine??? WTH??? This was way over blown than it needed to be! And I BLAME THE MEDIA!!!<br />Well that’s my rant for BS things as for now… Readers???? What are some things that you find to be total BS that’s pissing you offMz.Kewehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14633545720032121915noreply@blogger.com0