I Can do BAD…….. well… you know the rest.
Independence? …… CHECK! …… Strong enough to walk away from a bad situation?....... CHECK! Got a job and can support yourself?..... CHECK AND DOUBLE CHECK! Congratulations! You are the ideal, qualified, modern-day woman living in America and have probably proclaimed the phrase “ I Can Do Bad all by Myself."
Now, I know that just about everyone has either used this saying or heard of it before (if it was Tyler Perry’s movies or that song by Changing Faces back in ‘99). Maybe you’re a single mother, just trying to make it on your own with little or no help; maybe your situation with your current guy is going south and you feel that that you’re just better off alone; or maybe you’re so used to being independent and strong on your own, no one else quite fits the bill. Either way you flip this double entendre. Women have adopted it, became empowered by it and will publicly and privately proclaim it.
BUT HOW DO THE MEN, WHO HEAR US, TAKE IT?????????????????
Ooops.. Ahha ladies… that never occurred to us now did it? While we are so busy ranting and chanting, we sometimes fail to hear how this “women empowered saying” can come across to our men. Well, I’ve gone ahead and gathered a few thoughts from the fellas:
2. Male Bashing
4. “ I don’t need a man/ better off without you”
5. You’re probably bad either way/ need to upgrade yourself
6. Bitter old single woman
Wow!! Big difference compared to what we are really trying to express to the world huh? But yep it's true: to some men, when they hear this phrase that “aww heck $&#T, here we go” goes up and they are ready to defend and debate you. I know some of you are wondering, “How can a man get THAT impression?” Well, let me break it down for you.
Feminist/I don’t need a man/Male Bashing
I decided to group most of them together due to the nature of each being so similar. At times we tend to express our independence so much that it comes across very sexist. Ladies now let’s take a minute to think about that one. We don’t like it when men act sexist…well ,the fellas feel the same way. They don’t condone feminist ways just as we don’t condone the male chauvinist. Plain and simple as that.
It takes two to tangle ladies! Most of the issues within a relationship are not one-sided. A lot of the time when a woman starts to tell her man more and more that she doesn’t need him it appears that she is overlooking/ excusing her part of the wrongdoing and placing all fault on her man! That can be a lot of stress for one person to take, which will bring forth a negative view from both sides of this party. When one party fails to realize his/her faults, no one learns or grows
Single Bitter Old Woman
I had to create a category for this one all its own. Being that I couldn’t decide whether this was more a negative or a feminist case scenario. Bitterness…. Ummmm … well, to put it boldly I believe that bitterness in ANYONE but especially women is one of the Seven Deadly Sins in LIFE let alone a relationship. Point blank period: if you suffer from this you won’t be able to move forward in any of your future endeavors… not to mention relating to a man.
A double entendre this statement is indeed. I’m not saying we women don’t have to the right to proclaim it… shoot…. I feel that if you earned it, then you do have the right to flaunt it. However, we must be mindful of HOW we express our independence…if we are truly strong women… it should do more showing and probably less telling. And fellas, contrary to popular belief, this phrase isn’t supposed to be understood as male bashing or negative as you may feel it can come across. I guess the bigger picture would be that both men and women should communicate with each other better. We would probably have less confusion with this phrase that is supposed to be a show of strength, independence, and empowerment for both men and women.