By GuestBugs Brilliance and CeeNice
Lately, I have been hearing an increase in complaints from men about “nice guys” finishing last. For some reason, they believe that being the bad guy, or loser, or in some cases a total douche, is what women really want. Especially, the independent woman that has become increasingly popular, as desirable mates, thanks to the lovely Ms. Obama. Granted my sample of men is small, but I like the topic so we’ll go with it. For this one, I solicited the help of the Bestest– CeeNice. Be sure to click some of the links that highlighted throughout the blog.
My girls and I are probably just like you -- mostly independent women who are working their way up the career ladder.
We dream of finding the man of our dreams, yet for some reason we haven’t found him. Instead of passing the time alone, some of us date men we know aren’t good for us. The most infamous, as well as the subject of this post, is RayRay.
RayRay is generally the in-between-man, someone who you date or sleep with from time to time, but have no realistic expectation of building a relationship. CeeNice and I have dated our share of RayRays—men who were clearly not anywhere near our level financially, emotionally, spiritually, academically or intellectually.
In any case, people always wonder why a woman of our caliber would date RayRay in the first place. In fact, I’ve wondered that myself.
So we spent about an hour jotting down the pros and cons of RayRay. Surprisingly, we found that on the outside RayRay actually has some strong points.
Below are our findings. Remember these are just for fun, so don’t get offended:
1) RayRay ALWAYS hollers EVEN when he shouldn’t—Homeless, bucktooth, or wearing yesterday’s clothes, nothing but God could stop RayRay from hollering…nothing at all. RayRay figures if he hollers at ten women at least one will bite. The sad part is, he’s right. RayRay essentially has nothing to lose and he knows it.
2) RayRay is a Professional Pipe Layer—Yes we said it. If he can’t take you out to a dinner or a movie, at the bare minimum he provides good to great sex. He temporarily replaces our B.O.B., Battery Operated Boyfriend, and sometimes you need that.
3) RayRay is there when you need him—No need to coordinate schedules with this dude. Call him anytime day or night and he will be there. He also gets lost when you don’t want him any longer.
4) Despite his flaws he’s smart—He can hold a conversation, watches the news, and has relevant opinions. He’s also street smart, and you often feel safe around him.
5) He knows what he has—RayRay thinks you’re wonderful. Makes you feel like you’re the queen of the hood. He’s proud of your accomplishments and tries his best to treat you accordingly. Even if he does fall short.
On a serious tip:
RayRays come around during a time in our lives where we’re experiencing a dry spell. He just shows up on those days when we’re especially lonely and maybe a little desperate. When guys wonder how we end up with “losers” sometimes it’s simply because he hollered.
It feels good to have a guy be proud of your accomplishments. When a guy like RayRay says he can’t believe he’s talking to someone of your status it makes some of us feel good.
Overall RayRay situations rarely work. At some point you realize that he’s where he’s going to be emotionally, physically, intellectually, academically, and professionally for the rest of his life. If you want more for yourself then you will soon find yourself ready to move on.
As for the guys—If you’re a good guy with your stuff together then I encourage you to get out there and ask women out. RayRay does it without fear. You should too. In fact, a lot of us have been waiting for you our whole lives.
Well we’re done, so feel free to debate, and share your own RayRay stories in the comment section below.
Credits: photo #1: jonfeinstein creative commons photo stream.