Thursday, July 1, 2010

That’s Just ma Baby Daddy

You know……usually, you know how there’s like……a popular song right? And so popular that people start using the catch phrase for a while? For example, the song “Show Stoppers” by Danity Kane; every girl in the club started to claim to be a so called show-stopper. Every dude that was in love was a Bug-A-Boo (Destiny’s Child) and at one point, girls were referred to as Pigeons and all men who didn’t have a job or car were Scrubs. However, most of these phrases tend to wear out their welcome and die off pretty quickly. Well, all but a few ones, such as Baby Daddy or Baby Momma, seem to stand the test of time and are still used as frequently today as they were back in 96 or 97 when that particular song came out. In fact, it probably means more now because now that we are older… some of us may be considered baby mommas or daddies.

Honestly, I don’t like this particular term. It’s just too ghetto and I find it sickening that people have just rolled over and accepted being a baby momma or baby daddy; along with many other phrases, I’m not saying that I’ve never used terms like this prior, however, now that I am older and am learning better, I plan on doing better, for starters, erasing this from my vocabulary from this point on. My hope is that people will one day abandon this mindset as it is in no way shape or form uplifting especially in the African American community. What ever happened to giving a parent of your children a little more respect? Respect enough to at least say “mother or father of my child” or something along the lines of that? Or how about government names….? What ever happened to those??? It’s gotten so bad that some people even have the audacity to approach you and say things to the nature of “ hey aren’t you such and such baby momma?” (this actually happens to a friend of mine often) this is just absurd to me.

Since when has it been okay to be a Hot Ghetto Mess? Last time I checked, it was repulsive, looked down upon and laughed at. Remember how back in the days, music used to reflect something so totally different? Take rap groups like NWA ( Ice Cube, Eazy- Z, Dr Dre and others) used to talk about living and growing up in the ghetto, but their message wasn’t so glamorous and certainly wasn’t anything of a laughing matter. Now we have music glorifying things we really shouldn’t, such as a single mother or father depicted as a baby momma or baby daddy. I understand that sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying, but come on now. We have to draw the line somewhere. Seriously, who really wants to be referred to as a baby momma or baby daddy? Seriously???


  1. I think with words and statements like this, it all has to do with how the person uses it.

    Yes we want to be called by our name but I call my father, Daddy all the time, its not negative. I call my daughter a baby all the time. It's not negative. Why is it that when we put the two words together, they become negative?

    When my daughters father refers to me as his babies momma, he doesn't mean it in an ugly way. We have an excellent relationship and show each other tons of respect and understanding. I call him my babies daddy and by his name, he does the same for me. When I call him my babies daddy I am not trying to demean him in anyway. I would not do that.

    It seems that the phrase gets ugly when we make it ugly... Plus we just like to shorten our phrases. The father of my child takes way longer to say! LOL.

    Thank you for bringing this subject to our attention, it is an overlooked issue.

  2. I BEGGGG to differ. 'Baby momma' and 'baby daddy' are terms that carry negative connotations regardless of the use. Is referring to someone by 'bitch,' 'whore,' or the n-word okay even if your intent is good??

    Well, for some, maybe so, but for me...totally unacceptable.

    Show some respect to either the person that bore your child or helped you create it. Either call me by name or I am the 'mother of your child.'

    Save the 'BM' and 'BD' for the next one!

  3. I've always thought those terms were a disrespectful label. I never refer to the kids dad as my baby daddy. I would honestly get mad if he called me his baby mama. He always says the mother of my children and that's how I address him or ill say the kids dad! Hope this helps. Those terms are tachy to me and just adds room for another untruthful statistic!


  4. Okay, I really don't listen to lyrics of songs so I had to go back and actually look at the the lyrics to both of these songs, and the baby daddy song is not as negative as the baby momma song, both however negative. I don't like how either of them sound verbally; however, I don't get offended if my ex-husband just so happen to call me "baby momma" because I know what I am and who I am and the song in know way defines me. I call him baby daddy from time to time, but he in no way is reflective of that song. I can understand the point being made in the original post and yes, we should be more cognitive of the things we say and why we say them. Now that I have read the lyrics, I will not be using the term as loosely. My name will suffice, but I will not put up a fight if I am referred to as "baby momma," because I know I am so much more than that.

  5. I don't think its a good or bad term I thing it just a short way of sayin my kids mother or ny kids father without sayin all dat. like really what disrespectful bout the name baby daddy it means u r the baby's daddy or vice versa

    John C. (via Facebook)

  6. I think baby ma and baby daddy was suppose to be quite, but is a bad stigma that is now connected with it. It sounds trashy, not approiate for a girl who is mothering a child or a dad who father a child. It will not last, like you said a catchy phrase that is played out. I would not like to be refered to as baby moma or any one I know called by that name. But I do understand there are those who love that name...not me.

    Debra L. (via Facebook)

  7. I have to say I DO NOT like the term! I feel it's a way to de-value the other parent because of one's own personal issue(s) with the other parent. On the other hand I feel as though some parents are very young, or just immature, and use the term just because they think it's cool and they want to be part of the "in-crowd!" It's quite ridiculous to me!