By GuestBug Vivian
Public relations (PR) – noun
- the actions of a corporation, store, government, individual, etc., in promoting goodwill between itself and the public, the community, employees, customers, etc.
- the art, technique, or profession of promoting such goodwill
I have a theory. Whenever you meet someone new, you always put your best foot forward. You project yourself in a manner that shows more of the likable parts than not. You aren’t acting insecure or timid (or maybe you are, I don’t know); you’re a gorgeous, confident diva who doesn’t take any crap. Well, I call this good PR.
When it comes to online dating, it’s very easy to do. You write a happy description of yourself and your likes; in my experience, if you come off as a “Debbie Downer,” guys aren’t into it. Think about it: if you read a guy’s profile and it’s even the slightest bit pessimistic…it’s not really attractive, is it?
So people keep it peppy. It’s almost like the type of PR you put out for a job interview; instead of a new job, it’s a new mate. The first few exchanges are like the preliminary round. A few email/phone call/text messages later, you’re out on date #1. Date #1 is like your first in-person interview. You dress to the nines for the occasion, and if you hit it off, it’s date #2. If it keeps going at this rate, who knows where you end up. At some point, you let the walls down and show it all, the good and the bad. And that’s the true test.
Have you ever been out with someone and after a few dates you slowly realize this person is not the person you thought they were? I once dated a guy who kept it up for a whole three months. He was a soft-spoken, laid back rocker type who was totally the observer. For those of you who don’t know me, I’m a talker. I mean I can talk you into next Tuesday if you let me, but not about superficial topics of conversation. And I did most of the talking. The thing was, he was the exact opposite of what he presented. I’m a liberal, so he was liberal. But he really wasn’t. To each his own, but own it, feel me? After three months, his true self came out, and it wasn’t for me. He just had such good PR, he didn’t PR any of his actual qualities.
So in my quest for online love, I’ve seen this more often than not. I read a guy’s profile, he sounds pretty rad, we talk on the phone, he can carry on an intelligent conversation, we meet, and there’s always something. Like date #15 whose profile said he was 5’9”, but when we met he was actually 5’6”. Or date #1 whose profile said he was looking for long-term, but then told me he was really just looking for a friend. The point is, whether I’m online through my profile or meeting someone in person, I’m not projecting my insecurities; I am trying to keep it real. Good PR only takes you so far; the rest has to come from you, baby!
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Read more of Vivian's dating perspective at her very own blog, http://datinginqc.blogspot.com.