About a year ago, I chose to break things off with the creamy crack. That's right - THE BREAKUP. I told my addiction to straight, chemically processed hair, "It's not you, it's me," and I have since experienced some good and bad hair days. It was hard, and I struggled after getting a significant amount of my hair cut off, so I got a hair crew, a team to support me through my recovery. Now the "new" me and my tresses, still traveling on this hair journey, are here to talk briefly about that trek to the ultimate destination, hair confidence.
For those who know me, you know I'm very particular about my hair, and I can be a bit (okay, REALLY) meticulous…occasionally. That's why going natural has been so challenging for me, but I've decided to go the long haul. What I’ve found more interesting than my own admiration or lack there of when it comes to my napturality is how others have responded to my look.While I, at times, can’t stand it, others rave over my hair and ask questions as to how I managed to achieve my curls or my pressed look when in my mind it’s pure mediocrity. This led me to a SERIOUS question [dramatic music playing], “Is all hair confidence created equally?”, and [music stops]. I would say, “NOT!” Which led me to another question [no music this time], “How does one achieve hair confidence?” For answers, I sought the advice of a few members of my hair team, GuestBugs hairChick and stacI.
hairChick, the professional stylist, shares her personal experience...
"Okay, hair confidence?!? Yeah, still trying to find mine! The other day, as I walked into Hobby Lobby, a chick stopped me and mouthed, "Love the hair!" with a huge smile on her face. As usual, I put on an open mouth smile and said "Thanks!" while really thinking that my hair looked a HOT MESS!!! I put more pressure on myself because hair is my profession. Like, I have to have great looking hair all the time, and I do fall short sometimes (in my eyes). Being natural is totally new to me because I was getting my hair straightened since preschool, starting with presses then relaxers. So my hair confidence went to zero, and I'm slowly trying to build it. I think some women have an overall confidence, so it's easy for them to not be shaken by an "okay" hair day. What I'm doing is just taking it one day at a time and not letting an off hair day, get me down so much. When I wake up and my hair is not right, I fro it and keep it moving!
"If you think changing your hair will give you have more confidence....it won't! You have to find happiness in what you have (which also applies to more than just hair) and trust when people say that your hair looks awesome. So go ahead, whip that hair, even if you don't like it. Once you believe in your hair, others will too!"
Hair Confidence according to stacI...
"I believe self-confidence must be achieved in order for one to have what is called hair confidence. True self-confidence (and inner beauty) will radiate through your body and out through your split ends, curls, dreadlocks, crinkles, twists, braids, or what have you. Look in an "Objects Are Closer Than They Appear" mirror and really evaluate you. Then, you'll be able to recognize, love, and appreciate your strands. You'll glow like something luminous, and your hair will flow in a natural wind.
"About three years ago, I transitioned from relaxed hair to natural, and it was truly an experience. Seven months into the transition I cut my hair and really went from “every six week relaxer girl with straight hair almost touching the middle of her back” to “girl with tiny wanna be locs that wouldn't hold for the world” I found myself putting on flashy earrings and MAC eye shadow to “help me out.” I’d always been hair confident, but that drastic change shocked me. What was I to do without any hair? But I did have hair, to go with a beautiful face and perfect skin tone (I’m not conceited at all). I had to quickly snap out of and realize that my hair was what I’d wanted it to be. A beautiful part of me."
So Buggies, tell me what you think. Ladies, how does one embody hair confidence, and how do you express yours? Fellas, what attracts you to a woman with hair confidence? What’s your take on hair confidence in general and Willow’s single, "Whip My Hair?"
As for me, you ask. For now, I'm whippin' my sometimes curly, sometimes poofy, sometimes cooperative hair and working my way onto hair confidence. Deuces!_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Well whip it real hard then! Nice article...
ReplyDeleteYeah, I'm whippin' it as I type. LOL! Thanks for JuneBug Talking with us today, Langston!
ReplyDeleteWell, you konw I have whipped my creamy-cracked hair and well as my NOW napptural do! I think the hair confidence boils down to self confidence! Do what FEELS good, SOUNDS good, and LOOKS good on you...and it will be GREAT!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Qui. I also think that Hair Confidence comes from the outcome of the process. Let me explain:
ReplyDeleteI am mixed so I have naturally curly soft hair - the kind that I can wet n go. However, I don't really like it like that. I like the wraps and straightened. I never had "creamy crack" haha, but I have a process and sometimes I just hope it comes out nice and bouncy with my feathered layer curls lol.
Since my hair is so curly, once the humidity hits it - all the hot curlers in the world will not save it. I am particular in that way.
But again, coming back to self confidence, since I have what is considered to be good hair, I guess I shouldn't care how it comes out.. but I do.
TOAR
@Ms Qui Vive I tend to agree with both GuestBugs hairChick and stacI along with your perspective. We exude hair confidence by embracing our individuality and being authentic to ourselves as well. SIDE NOTE: Your cut is gorgeous!!!
ReplyDelete@TOAR Thanks for commenting! I can't speak for everyone, but I am SO over the term "good hair." In my opinion, good hair is healthy hair, and I think the use of the term has fostered separation or the idea that one grade or texture of hair is better than the other. By the way, I absolutely loved the documentary by Chris Rock. Okay, back to the subject. In the words of my dear friend and GuestBug hairChick I must say, "Hair is hair." We all experience hair challenges or have preferences as to how we'd like to style and/or maintain our tresses. For some of it's managing thick and curly hair, others deal with inconsistent curl patterns, some have straight, lifeless hair and want more volume, and the list goes on and on. Now hair confidence is totally different. I can't lie; my confidence level changes from day to day and week to week just like how I'd like my hair often changes too. What I've learned on my very own hair journey is to appreciate my mane 'til death do us part, and honoring what I have no matter how much or how little, the texture, or the style translates into confidence.
So cheers to hair confidence no matter what you're working with...to all those who have chemically treated or natural hair. I hope you're reading this and whippin' that relaxed, faded, waved, twisted, curled, fro'd, etc. etc. hair!
Love this post! And I'm glad you posted Lil Jada's (lol) video. I remember what it was like when I first thought about hacking all my hair off and going natural. It was during freshman year of college - I was 18 and something just clicked and I realized that I didn't have to have a perm. I realized that I didn't want one. I don't what brought me to that realization, besides that fact that I became real Afro-centric during my first year of college and have been ever since. Anyway, I hacked all my hair off (had less than an inch left) during the summer just before I turned 19. It was mind-altering to see all that hair fall onto the floor.
ReplyDeleteThe first months (hell the first few years) of having natural hair was pretty frustrating. I found myself actually hating my natural hair. See, I have extremely fine, tight coils: the type of of hair that when it is wet and totally natural, conceals about 90% of its actual length. Yeah, nappy. I got so frustrated that I decided to just dread it up. But the dreads also frustrated me after a while. Very hard to maintain. By middle of senior year, just 2 1/2 years after going natural, I was sitting in front of the television during Christmas break with my mom. And I went and got the scissors, sat there, and started hacking off all the dreads. My mom thought I was crazy. Again, I had less than an inch of hair left once I finished. The next day I had a barber set my cut straight, and honestly, I have loved my hair ever since that moment. Throughout all my trials, I never once considered going back to the creamy crack: it's not an exaggeration to say that perms had made my life miserable and took a real toll on my self-confidence.
Of course, I still have moments where my hair aggravates me, but I wouldn't ask for a different head of hair (longer maybe). I can do so many crazy styles with it (my friends always comment about how I have a different do every time they see me). Yeah, during those rough moments, I've thought about dreading it up again. Maybe I will. But not anytime soon. Nothing has made me love myself more than learning how to love the nappy-fuzzy on top of my head. :D
Thanks for the post, Ms. Mashari. I most certainly shall keep whipping my hair back and forth.
@Berneta Willow is a lil' Jada, huh? LOL! Thanks for encouraging me to post this blog 'cause you know it almost didn't happen, but I'm so glad I did. In addition, it seems you and I share a similar hair story. I've found myself tempted on multiple occasions to just whack my hair off and can admit to cutting a few strands whenever I get a hold of scissors. stacI looked at my crazy when I mentioned this to her the other day. LOL! I quickly put the scissors down because I can envision myself cutting it all off, and we know my head is like ginormous, so that's not such a good idea. For now, I'm growing into my napturality and look forward to evolving with the support of my hair team and my self-proclaimed theme song by Wills.
ReplyDelete