Showing posts with label self-help. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self-help. Show all posts

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Go the Distance

So it's a popular saying, right? It's not just that. See, I grew up in a neighborhood in Little Rock, Ark. where some people fell by the wayside while others aspired to be better and followed their dreams to become greatness. I'm astonished by the talent and at just how many people I know who have followed their hearts and made going the distance their way of life; actors, counselors, barbers and stylists, comedians, nurses, models, attorneys, promoters, writers, graphic designers, and the list goes on and on. For Rah, it's being an artist, which I truly admire as an avid music lover, sometimes shower vocalist (LOL), and occasional songwriter. Just a few weeks ago when I heard his track "Go the Distance" featuring his brother and my former classmate Ricky, I fell in love with the lyrics so much so they inspired me to write this blog. So press play and go the distance with me in today's lesson [bell rings]. Once again, class is in session!

I recently read a book by Ella L.J. Edmondson Bell, which fit perfectly with today's title, called Career GPS: Strategies for Women Navigating the New Corporate Landscape. For all the fellas who are reading, please continue 'cause there is something to be learned for everyone no matter your sex or your career plans. Have you ever struggled with discovering your inner talent or been stifled not knowing what you should be doing with your life? Well, think of Ella as a coach guiding you onto the right path and into the right direction.

Before starting your journey, you should learn and understand yourself. Ella says, "It's best to know yourself before you get in the game, but understand self-awareness grows" over time. To get an idea of who you are and how the world sees you, ask some of your co-workers, friends, and relatives what their perception is of you along with examples to support their arguments. Compare their honest assessments with your own and who you'd like to be, and make adjustments accordingly. Don't stop there; keep it moving. Think about the things you enjoy and what you're most passionate about whether it's styling hair, customizing whips, or drawing cartoon animations, and determine how you can capitalize on that.

Ella also suggests you embrace every part of yourself including the good, the bad, and the ugly. During the course of my own analysis, I realized I had the habit of defeating myself with negative thoughts before I got started because I could never see the end of the road. There was always some obstacle, some roadblock in the way like not knowing where to start in the first place, or needing and wanting to finish school, or wondering where the heck the tuition money would come from. The thing is, the journey never really ends, and that's not a bad thing. If you really want what you want and want it with all of your being, you can go the distance. But keep in mind, going the distance means giving it ERRthing you've got and laying it all out there on the line. It means zooming past everyone who ever told you that you can't and never looking back. What you'll find is that once you've gone the distance, you'll keep moving further and further by evolving as an individual and fulfilling dreams you never knew you had. Then it's on to the next one. Start your journey today by saying this affirmation, "I CAN and WILL go the distance."

Lesson #5 for young strivers is:

Know yourself, find your passion, and go all the way - the distance!

"What you want to do, and can do, is limited only by what you dream." ~ Mike Melville


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Learn more about Rah and order his album The Winner at http://wWw.RahHoWard.cOm/.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Decisions


By GuestBug justJames


It's what separates man from animals. Animals are preprogrammed by God. Everything an animal does from eating, to migrating, to finding a mate, even having sex... It's all preprogrammed.


But we are different, we have the power to make decisions. At the core of your life, you will find decisions. So you're an adult and you make all your own decisions right? Why aren't you living the life you want? Why do you only pretend to be happy and content in front of others, but secretly you are still trying to "find your purpose"?

I want to challenge you today to take inventory of your life. Why don't you have the job or career you desire, that business, girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, wife! What ever it is you desire... why don't you have it? One word, decision. As in you haven't made the decision yet. Your life is literally one decision away from being the greatest life you have ever lived no matter where you are in life, no matter what your age! God says in John 10:10, "...I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (overflows) (amp)." You are not here just to simply "make it" or survive. If you are not fulfilled, then it is on you to change it and I can show you how!

You see, unfortunately we have turned our lives into a series of preferences, never really making a true decision. Most of us make decisions by stating things like, "I would like to lose weight, or I need to stop smoking" (Laughing) or the infamous new years resolution! While making a true decision means cutting off any other possibility. There is no plan "B" with a true decision. We have all been taught to have a back up plan. For some things that's great, but for your true passion, for you true decision! That's not sound advice. Ok say it with me, "A back up plan is for just in case I fail. With a true decision, failure is not an option!" You believe you have a purpose in this life beyond what you are doing or have done right? At the very heart of that purpose or purposes is your decision just waiting to be made! Jesus says, "Let your Yes be simply Yes, and your No be simply No... (Matthew 5:37,amp) and even goes further to tell us the dangers of a person who can't make decisions. A double minded man is unstable in all his ways (James 1:8, kjv).




Again, think about where you are and where you want to be. Write down your thoughts because this the beginning of your journey to the new you. Follow this series (3-4 parts) and eliminate fear and excuses, and have faith in the power you already have.This journey will encourage, inspire and change your life. In part 2 we will continue our journey, by exploring six keys to harness Your power of making decisions.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Power

Kanye West, one of my favorite artists of all time (no matter how eccentric), has reemerged in the world of hip hop music, and he’s returned a mid controversy of his alleged ties to the Illuminati after debuting a video for his tracked titled, “Power.” The video depicts a compelling West standing still in the center of a moving painting as he chimes, “No one man should have all that power” over a thumping beat with harmony lulling in the background. For years, people have speculated the Illuminati, an age-old secret society, have plans to take over the world as we know it or secretly run ish already. Now I love him to death, so forgive me here….but Kanye, a member of the Illuminati? I just don’t see it no matter how many symbols the public points to. I mean, this is the same guy who said President George Bush didn’t like Blacks during a telethon following Hurricane Katrina, and the same guy who threw tantrums ‘cause he ain’t win an MTV award, and the same guy who, later, interrupted Taylor Swift’s acceptance for an MTV award to make his own public service announcement on how undeserving she was and claimed the award should’ve gone to Hov’s wifey Beyonce instead. Unless the research I pored over is wrong, the Illuminati claim to have spiritual enlightenment, but who am I to judge? Love you, Kanye!
Moving right along, class is in session. Today’s lesson is on nothing other than power. Kanye’s track ends with the lyric, “You got the power to let power go.” Deep, huh? Just let that marinate. Ordinarily, some of us walk around complaining to be powerless and wanting the world to change instead of letting go and sharing what we do have to create a Different World. In Start Over, Finish Rich, David Bach dedicated the final chapter to finding your power and the importance of lending it to others who are less fortunate. The best-selling author and personal finance expert quotes Sir John Templeton (b. 1912 - d. 2008) who once said, “The secret of life is to become a ‘go giver’ – not a ‘go getter.’” That goes hard, right? Now I know you’re probably thinking that we’ve just recovered from a recession, and you ain’t got much doe to give. Well, maybe you do and maybe you don’t, but giving back doesn’t always mean trickin’ your money to charity (which is a worthy cause by the way). As Russell Simmons' book title says, Do You! the best way you can.
For sometime now, my friendgirl Staci of My Journey to Better has grumbled about the poor economic conditions of Edgecombe County in Rocky Mount, N.C. She’s also mentioned how the neighboring county, Nash, is thriving, which brought Haiti and the Dominican Republic to mind. Every time she’s mentioned it I’ve asked, “What are you going to do about it?” The first time I asked her, she seemed stunned as if to say, “No, she didn’t!” This last time, she sat quietly and pondered on what and how she could do something, anything. Much too often, we immediately discount

ourselves as being unfitting to tackle an issue or not having the means necessary to make it happen, but that’s not what power and giving back are about. When Miss Qui Vive approached me about this blog venture, I thought, “Yeah, I have ideas. But really, who is going to listen?” Some 2,000 hits later, I’m still hangin’ in there. I'm glad I agreed to do it because I pushed pass something hindering me from within myself, and I've been able to get you to think about money (maybe in a way you never had).
About a week or so after choppin’ it up with my friendgirl Staci, she came to me again and spoke of a dream – a vision. She had become inspired by her burden and contacted a local city council member in Rocky Mount, N.C. for some REAL talk on improving the city’s conditions. Instead of sitting by idly, she found her power and in it, her purpose. She sought to organize a health and wellness fair with vendors from across the state contributing services to the public at no charge in hopes of awakening the city and whipping its’ people into shape. Motivated by her power to improve the lives of others, she also asked for yours truly to participate, as a financial literacy advocate, among the support of many other young strivers and entrepreneurs. And she’s already scheming ideas to empower the city’s youth with the first-ever Teen Summit.
Speaking from personal experience, I know using my power for the greater good has been a humbling and rewarding one. Not only do I help someone else, but I feel better about myself in the process. I get what some call the "Helper's High" and look past whatever dilemmas I am facing by focusing all of my attention on doing good for others. Research has shown that we feel a sense of euphoria after acts of kindness, and our brains have a response similar to its' reaction to chemicals like dopamine. So get high by getting your give on!

In case you didn’t quite get it, lesson #4 for young strivers is:
Tap into your power and shine your light on others through giving whatever you have to offer
(i.e. dinero, time, etc.) no matter how much or little it is.
Questions to Think About:
  1. Are you a “go giver” or a “go getter?”
  2. Do you know where your power lies? And your purpose?
  3. How do you use your power to better the world?
  4. What's your take on Mr. West's video? If you haven't seen it, watch for yourself below.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Unthinkable (I'm Ready)


Singer Alicia Keys croons, "If you ask me, I'm ready" in her latest single from her fourth LP, Element of Freedom. She did the unthinkable and expressed her readiness formally in an intimate wedding to producer Swizz Beatz in France just a week ago. Congratulations, Alicia and Swizz!

It's unthinkable for me to imagine being married at my age, though I thought I was "ready" to jump the broom at the tender age of 19 to a man just about 10 years my senior (who I might add, turned out to be a d-mn fool). Yeah, I know. He was not totally to blame in the situation, as I walked blindly into coupledom like the foolish young girl that I was. I hadn't been schooled on matters of the heart, how to go about a healthy relationship, or money management. I simply thought love was all I, he, or we needed. Boy, was I WRONG? I found myself thinking something similar to the lyrics of Keri Hilson's "What Channel?" constantly. We operated on two completely different wave lengths when it came to our expectations of one another, our finances, and just about everything else but sex, which made for nothing but TROUBLE in what I thought was paradise. After six months of shackin' and a year or so in, it was SPLITSVILLE. We nearly killed each other like an episode of Snapped. Okay, I'm kidding. Really! Some of you might read and protest that you could never be me, while others have played a similar role in their relationships, or some might even know someone with a parallel story. Well, never say never 'cause I never would've thought I would end up being that girl, yet I was. Now no matter where you are in your romantic affairs, we can all learn from today's lesson.

I think one of the most important things I learned from the experience is what my boo Hill Harper calls, "The Conversation." By that I mean, it's crucial to have communication and financial intimacy. When was the last time you and your honey talked about bread? No, I don't mean a loaf. Okay, if it's taking you that long to answer I say it's time for REAL TALK on the issue. Minimize future stress and headaches by getting clear on how you feel about individual and shared financial responsibilities. For instance, who will take care of the utilities at the crib, who will stay home to care of the kiddos if you choose to have them and who will work, or even if you will have separate bank accounts.

NOTE: If you're married and equally responsible, I'm all for shared accounts; however, if you AIN'T
married....(sigh) please don't. I'm just saying.

True story, all you grown and sexy strivers might like Lisa Peterson's Pillow Talk: Make Talking About Money Sexy in Your Marriage. As the saying goes, "Money talks," and Lisa says it doesn't have to be boring. Instead, it can be much more like foreplay. In an interview with 90.9 WBUR, Lisa told listeners to "Have a quickie. Try to quickly check in with each other, whether in person or through the use of little financial love notes." You might even like teasing 'em with a sexy text message or setting reminders with a cute pic in his favorite teddy. My girl Jacquette M. Timmons, author of Financial Intimacy, and the ladies over at DailyWorth suggest loving your boo and your stacks by playfully discussing doe and then progressing onto more serious talks like retirement, insurance, and wills as a team. Find out how financially compatible the two of you are with this quiz. Spend some QT and get to know what's old and new with your significant other with full disclosure and review one another's credit reports once or twice a year. Share your vision on where you'd like to be financially, collaborate to meet those goals, and work together to recover after a setback. However you do it is entirely up to you, but it's crucial that you do get it crackin' with baby about that cheddar. While you might not agree on everything, financial intimacy allows you two to strengthen your partnership.

So lesson #3 for young strivers is:

Become financially intimate with your partner, and gauge what you'd like and your situation to be sure you're really "ready" before doing the "unthinkable."

Questions to Think About
  1. Have you experienced relationship trouble because your opinion differs from your boo's on the subject of money?
  2. How "ready" are you for the next step in your relationship?
  3. How do you and your partner get your finances poppin' behind closed doors?

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Thank Me Later

Actor/Rapper Aubrey Graham (better known as Drake of Lil' Wayne's Young Money Ent.) recently released his first full-length album titled, “Thank Me Later.” Despite our country's slumped economy and high unemployment rates, more than a few of us made it to Best Buy, Radio Shack, Circuit City, or hit up iTunes to cop Drizzy's latest music. Thanks to you, you, you, and you the album debuted at number one on the Billboard 200. With only three weeks in, Thank Me Later is still on the Billboard's Top 10 countdown. On behalf of Drake, a good friend of mine in my head, I'd like to thank you for your support.

Most of you know where I'm going with this, but some of you might wonder just what this has to do with personal finance. While I can't knock Drake's hustle 'cause it is STUPENDOUS, I can say a lot of young adults' lack a hustle or if they've got one, it's more than weak. Why do I say this? For starters, most young adults rarely seek guidance or use resources because we know it all or think we do. As a result, a bunch of us are floundering around and pretending to have it all together in the process when we clearly DON'T. Well, I'm ringing the alarm like Beyonce, and it's time to wake the hell up. Yeah, I said it. Now join me in class for lesson #2 for young strivers!

Young Money
I'm moving pass the music, so I can really school you today. Young Money isn't just an entertainment group or recording label; there's a personal finance web magazine that I adore with the same name. From advice on checking and savings accounts to career tips, suggestions on how to reduce your debt, entrepreneurship, and investing, this magazine has got you and me covered. I can't help but say, "Young Mula, baby" in my best Weezy voice whenever I log on 'cause I know that's where I'm headed by reading this magazine.

More Resources
  • What's the Dealio? Comparison shop for just about ERRthing and get discount codes at this website and others like Pronto, PriceGrabber, and RetailMeNot. Don't forget sites like Bankrate where you can find the best checking, savings, mortgage, car, and credit card rates among tons of other financial 411. I personally like to look for rates every six months or so to ensure I'm getting the highest interest possible on my savings.
  • Get government assistance, and no, I don't mean food stamps! Check out the government's way of supporting financial literacy with the FDIC's Money Smart finance program or the Financial Literacy and Education Commission's website. Both sites provide FREE guidance for managing and planning our financial futures whether we're in college, unemployed, single/married/divorced, starting a business, buying a home, or adopting a baby.
  • Save on cable by watching TV online at your favorite network's website, Fancast, Hulu, or Netflix. Watch PBS' Your Life Your Money episodes on the web, play games, or access a budget calculator, glossary, and other tools that'll help you get on financial track.
  • Read magazines? Well, Maghound offers reduced price subscriptions on all the best magazine titles. Get three magazines for just $4.95 per month; that's three magazines for the newsstand price of one! I stay up on all things money by ordering Kiplinger's, Money, and Black Enterprise from my friends at Maghound.
  • Be in the know, and order your FREE Annual Credit Report today. I suggest you review your report closely for any discrepancies and dispute them as soon as possible. You can also order your scores from each of the credit bureaus or at a site called MyFICO, one of my good friend's Suze Orman suggests. If you find it hard to sift through all the information on a credit report, some of you may like Credit.com's FREE credit report card. The site pulls information from your credit file and gives you a letter grade. I hope we're all aiming for an A+!
  • Cut down your student loan debt with retail therapy. Yeah, I'm telling you to spend and save in the process. With Sallie Mae's Upromise, you can save by shopping at retailers in-store or online, dining out at the hottest restaurants, purchasing gas, lodging a number of hotels from the W Hotel to the Holiday Inn, or by taking brief surveys at e-Rewards. Guess what? It's FREE!
  • Get your hustle on and find your next gig online at QuietAgent where you can hunt for jobs anonymously. Be included before being excluded because of your race, gender, sexual orientation, ethnic name, or that hideous tattoo of your baby daddy or baby momma's name.
  • Still got questions? Seek the advice of a professional like the personal banker at your local credit union, a certified financial planner, a mentor, or maybe even a life coach like Kandice of Helping You Live the Good Life in Real Life.
In short, lesson #2 for young strivers:
To earn money, you've gotta learn money (and the resources available to you). Here, I've given you just a handful to get you started...for this, you can Thank Me Later! Class is dismissed.


Questions to Think About:

  1. How would you rate your hustle and personal finances on a scale of 1 to 10?
  2. Do you make use of resources and financial tools to get ahead? If so, what are those? If not, why?
Leave your comments below.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Debunk the Junk...Then Chunk

I have a shameful addiction…

I – love – reality TV! Any kind, it doesn’t matter – from D-list celebrities attempting to find love, to hard core boot camps, even to Housewives in any region…I’ve got to watch each episode, including the reunion show where there’s bound to be an onstage ambush attacking the upcoming reality star everyone loved to hate (and who will probably have their own reality show in the fall!)

Check out one of my new faves.

Ok, now this is reality tv. But come on, JuneBug Family, is hoarding a little junk really ‘ruining your life,’ ‘embarrassing,’ and a ‘living hell??’ In their cases, it is much more than a stashing a little bit of junk, but I’m sure these monstrous heaps of useless clutter didn’t start out that way. These paralyzing cases of hoarding started out small, as any other problem does. Small stacks of mail on tables. Forgetting to load the dishwasher each night. A couple of shirts missing the dirty clothes hamper. Nothing major, eh? Now those small stacks, forgetful nights, and couple of shirts have turned into a physical blockade, a mental prison, and an emotional captivity.

You would never let it get that out of hand, would you?

Many people, including myself, struggle with clutter in our lives on a daily basis. Clutter, a "confused multitude of things" (WordNetWeb, 2010), can rear its debris-filled head and consume our time, leaving us zapped of our energy, and unable to be productive. Although, there still may be a clear path to our front door, that does not mean our lives are junk-free – it may just mean our junk is revealed in other ways…

  • working excessive hours at your job – more than you are able to or need to
  • running errands for others and neglecting your own responsibilities
  • physically or financially taking care of family members or friends who can take care of themselves
  • over-committing OF yourself – and under-committing TO yourself
  • living in the past – wondering what could have been?
  • feeling guilty about saying ‘no’
  • depression, anxiety, or feelings of inadequacy
…the list could go on!

Each of us knows what is cluttering our lives – draining our time and energy from being productive. In his book, The Ten Natural Laws of Successful Time and Life Management, Hyrum Smith gives several ‘natural laws’ for managing your life and time. Law 7 states, “we satisfy needs when our beliefs are in line with reality (Smith, 1994).” To reduce the clutter in our lives, we should focus on our needs, which will frame our beliefs and give us rules to live by, shape our behavior, and give us the results we desire.

Life is much more than a quick run-through, it is a one-time opportunity to take full advantage and make the most of your time and potential. What we do (or choose not to do) affects others in the world around you. Our actions will spawn us or those around us to potential greatness. Likewise, our inaction will lead to nothing more than mediocrity.

Let’s define what is cluttering our lives, release it, and begin to live freely!

Here at JBT, we continually strive to find ways to engage our readers by offering unique opportunities to interact. Is there something physically, mentally, or emotionally cluttering you life? Do you barely have enough energy to make it through the week? Are there never enough hours in your day? Are you interested in being more productive? Join us via conference call as Kandice Washington explores taking back your time and energy, as well as introducing you to affordable life coaching options. It will take place on Tuesday, June 29th at 8pm (CST). Please email knwashington09@gmail.com to sign up and receive conference call access by Monday June 27th.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

It Ain't Trickin' If You Got It

It seems our culture is obsessed with glitz and glam, which leaves people (especially young adults) constantly wanting more and more. If it's not buying a new fit, it's an insanely priced Louis Vuitton accessory, a new lacefront, the latest smartphone, or custom rims for the whip. All for what...appearances? Careful, careful 'cause I know your momma told you things aren't always as they seem. Think about it; what does having things really mean, if your bank account is overdrawn, your credit card is maxed out, your child support is late, or the rent is two weeks past due?

Sadly, far too many young adults are chasing a lifestyle instead of chasing their dreams and aspirations. We’re allowing others to define what success means for us with materialism and digging ourselves into holes, living check to check, and repeatedly missing the mark. And tell me just what does society tell you to do in case of an emergency or some unexpected bill emerges, charge it. As the song goes, “It ain’t trickin’ if you got it,” but using credit is a clear indication that you AIN’T got it. As young adults, we’re at critical stages of our lives that will ultimately shape our future. Accumulating debt and spending unnecessarily will only hinder our growth and the opportunities available to us. For instance, more jobs are looking at how we manage our credit, and finance companies bill us more interest for poor credit history. In addition, you can be denied for a higher credit line if you have a negative credit rating.

Well, I am striving for what promoter Langston Carr calls "The Good Life" by pursuing my goals and living within my means in the process. I’d like to think all strivers, including myself, can elevate and live the lifestyles of our choosing as we grow professionally and our wealth increases. In the meantime, I hope our readers here at JuneBug Talk aren’t so fixated and consumed with fantasy and quantifying their existence with things they cannot afford.

Having said all of that, here's lesson #1 for young strivers:

While we're flossin', stuntin', boppin', or whatever you wanna call it these days, let's be certain we're not trickin' ourselves into debt and robbing ourselves of a future.